Listen live below, get us on iTunes, Zune, or download the mp3 directly here

Perry and Mike create Porn titles based on Video Games and images related to the podcast

Perry Piekarski: Womb raider.
Mike Murakami: Tony Cock: Ride
Perry Piekarski: ninja hymen
Mike Murakami: Deus Sex
Perry Piekarski: Ssex (snowboarding)
Mike Murakami: Muffenstein 3D (i wouldn’t watch this one, sounds like it is from the 70’s or 80’s)
Perry Piekarski: POON (doom)
Mike Murakami: Tom Clancy’s Gang Bang Six: Vegas
Perry Piekarski: Mega man sex
Mike Murakami: EverQueef II: The Sonace Odyssey
Perry Piekarski: Blazblueballs
Mike Murakami: F.U.C.K. 2: Project Orgy
Perry Piekarski: The legend of zelda: a link to the ass
Mike Murakami: Major Latina Biggbutts 2K9 :/
Mike Murakami: Devil May Cum 3: Dick Awakening / Sister Hump: Home Cumming / Squirtmen: I End in Your Eye
Mike Murakami: The Elder Sex IV: Objectionable
Mike Murakami: Super Sperm Facial IV
Mike Murakami: Dick Sucking Cunt 2: Titties Dong Quest

^Sadly, after all that, I still had more prepared. Perry fell asleep while I was still going
AssRaiser 2
Buttsex Shut Up and Jam!
Cruelvania: Dominatrix seX
The Legend of the Mystical Nipple
Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure

Possible contest: Name all the games that these fake porn’s make reference to!

A Miami man accused of selling $720, 000 worth of PS2s and Sony cameras to support terrorism was released on a 1.55 million dollar bond yesterday. 56-year-old business man Khaled Safadi and two associates were charged last month with illegally shipping the consoles and other merchandise to the Galeria Page Mall in Paraguay, which US authorities have determined is a front for the Middle Eastern terrorist group Hezbollah.

The Miami Herald notes prosecutors’ hesistation about the release based on Safadi’s risk for flight, but defense lawyer Michael Tein argued that his client is not involved with Hezbollah or any other radical organization. The government, he said, was just trying to ruin the good name of an innocent citizen.

Tein reportedly held up a PlayStation 2 in front of the indictment judge, saying, “It’s children’s toy. He’s being accused of shipping a children’s toy to Paraguay.”

Laws established after 9/11 forbid transactions between U.S. citizens and any companies that have been officially associated with terrorism. Safadi and others fabricated false information on export paperwork in order to sidestep these restrictions.

I’m just thinking—all that money for PS2s? What would PS3s go for?

via NBC and GamePolitics

The first episode of Sony’s reality series The Tester premiered today on the PlayStation Network. And: It. Is. Boring.

Let’s roleplay for a minute. You walk into the kitchen. There’s a classic Hershey’s bar, a Three Musketeers, and a Snickers on the table.

Maybe you like lots of stuff in your candy. You go for the Snickers. Maybe you’re a minimalist. Fine, take the Hershey’s.

But no one anywhere will choose a Three Musketeers unless it’s the only option. It’s just nougat. And chocolate. It’s unoffensive. But it’s not special.

The Tester is that Three Musketeer’s Bar.

It’s not that the show sucks. The production’s fine, and for gamers it’s got natural appeal. The reason for The Tester’s nougat-only excitement level is its cast: contestants, host, and judges. They’re just way too nice to be entertaining.

Almost everyone on The Tester (Hal Sparks pending) seems like a decent person. Bubbly and tastefully hot Meredith Molinari hosts, and her inability to threaten even the most timid of contestants is adorable. Man/imp hybrid Sparks keeps his usual VH1 grade douchebaggery to a minimum. Expert Brent Gocke, First Party QA’s Release Manager, and guest judge Petro Piaseckyj act as stern but loving disciplinarians. And while Sony does its best to assign stereotypes—world ranked Guitar Hero player Star is the bad girl, Brooklynite Luge is a dolt, and Doc is the funny fat guy—even with strategically chosen soundbites and comedic background music the entire cast seems like a chill bunch, bitch, broad, and Fatty Arbuckle included.

Where are the crazies? The weirdos? The usual reality show fodder that spin television gold with unintentional hilarity? You can’t tell me that on all of the PSN, Sony couldn’t find one bad egg to spice up this squeaky clean ensemble. I mean, it’s no Xbox LIVE, but seriously.

I guess Sony couldn’t run the risk of polluting their own ranks with one of the unwashed masses. The best thing about this show is its prize, securing a job as an SCEA game tester. While this may not seem like a big deal to some, both Gocke and Piaseckyj, who’s Sony’s International Software Marketing Manager, started in the business with that same position.

The first task our rather agreeable crew is forced to complete is a high pressure find the differences challenge. Individually, each competitor sits before a screen in front of the judges and picks out the differences between two side-by-side images. They’ve got 90 seconds to demonstrate eye for detail.

No one royally bombs, and no one aces it. Every contestant displays the right mixture of cockiness and humility. Paint dries. Grass grows. The entire show is utterly uneventful.

If you’re still so inclined, the thirty minute Tester doesn’t waste much time, but the only real reason to download this show is because it’s free. And you’ve got to be bored. Very bored. So bored you’ve already downloaded all the PSN’s free demos. And nothing’s on cable. And it’s raining. And your friends are on vacation. And the internet’s down. And you’re all out of Snickers.

Oh, and in case I haven’t discouraged your download: SPOILER ALERT!
Another reason future episodes won’t be hogging my gigs: My favorite character is the first to go. Barmy, a sweetly awkward chap whose nerves got the best of him, was sent home along with Resident evil fan Roni. And while the show paints him as weird, I wish he could’ve stuck around. I’ve got a weakness for dapper tie sporting gentlemen. Barmy, I don a monocle in your memory, sir.

Free to download, The Tester pits 11 contestants against each other, all battling for the ultimate prize: a position as an SCEA game tester. A few big names are also slated to make guest appearances, including God of War director David Jaffe.

For this foray into television, Sony partnered with production company 51 Minds, the brilliance behind The Surreal Life, Rock of Love, and other tequila fueled VH1 programs.

The Tester promises standard reality fare, such as “elimination challenges” that make use of “giant slingshots” and “human hamster balls”. But without Bret Michaels, who’s gonna play the douchebag?

Easy answer. Hal Sparks is a judge. Enjoy the soul patch:

via ABC

On his weekly radio show this Sunday, Chavez singled out both Sony and Nintendo (maybe he’s a Halo fan?), branding both companies as serious threats to Venezuelan children. According to the Associated Free Press, he said that the PlayStation is “poison” and leads poor South American kiddies to not only drink beer, shoot guns, and smoke cigarettes, but also to sell them.

What does Chavez want? “Educational games” instead of ones with weapons, and “little indigenous dolls” to take the place of another popular offender, Barbie. Apparently, she looks nothing like the people of a nation whose Wikipedia list of important countrymen features more beauty queens than doctors or artists.

Although he’s blasted violent games and other toys before, advocating that they be banned entirely from Venezuela, maybe his rage is justified. As Chavez said, “They once put my face on a game, ‘you’ve got to find Chavez to kill him.’”

Now maybe it’s just me, but if Solid Snake was after my head, I don’t think I’d be doing too much trash talking.

via Game Pro

Due on March 2nd, MLB 10: The Show is promising several new features, including a new pick-off mechanic, weekly roster updates and a revamped ‘Road to the Show’ which, for those of you who are uninitiated, is basically baseball-meets-RPG. The most important announcement is the promise of a “vastly improved” online mechanic. Not to say that last year’s was bad, but it was definitely the one blemish on an otherwise pristine title.

Here are all the new features being promised for MLB 10: The Show:

• HR Derby – The Home Run Derby and MLB All-Star Futures Game are now available during the All-Star break in our season modes and as a stand-alone experience.
• Catcher Calling the Game – Call pitches and play as the field general, just like Joe Mauer.
• Online Gameplay Improved – This year the online gameplay experience has been vastly improved and will detect and respond better to adverse network conditions along with reduced bandwidth to help the speed and flow of online gameplay.
• User Controlled Pick-Offs – Surprise a base runner with a quick move or lull him to sleep with our new pick-off mechanism.
• Custom Music, Fan Yells, and Chants – Assign music or a recording to an entire team, edit tracks to assign batter walk-up music, or record your own voice and assign it to play for the team or player during the situation of your choice.
• Movie Maker – Select up to ten replays to add to a single movie and do all the editing for your own highlight reel.
• New Stadiums – Five new Minor League stadiums as well as classic parks including Forbes Field, Crosley Field, Polo Grounds, Shibe Park, Sportsman Park, and Griffith Stadium.
• New Fielding/Pitching Training Modes and Practice Drills – New pitching and fielding training sessions will be part of our Road to The Show training suite.
• Road to The Show Version 4.0 – New option settings (Game Watch and Game Completion) allow users to set how much of the game they wish to view, our mistake tracking system and new Green Light system reward and penalize good play, and our new stat tracking system keeps stats for your player’s career versus every pitcher or batter faced during the current season that can be accessed at any time.
• Full Online Season Leagues – Fully functional online season leagues, save and display MLB Player stats, track player energy, allow for trades/injuries, and offer 40-man roster functionality.
• Weekly Live Roster – An updated live roster will be available every week throughout the entire season.
• Online Game History – View every game you’ve ever played online, complete with opponents, box scores, and game logs.
• 1-30 Player Season Modes – Control one or all 30 teams right from the start of your franchise or season.
• New Camera System – The most realistic camera system available will make you double take and make sure you’re not watching a live MLB telecast.
• Real-Time Presentations – More than 1,250 new gameplay animations, more than 1,000 new presentation animations, and more than 400 personalized pitcher and batter animations.
• Stadium Realism and Experience – Details, details, details! MLB 10 The Show offers daytime transitional lighting, shows all players on field in real-time (including players in the dugout and bullpen), and offers improved stadium ambiance with HR/splash counters, fireworks, steam, noisemakers, towels, thunder sticks, working digital and analog clocks, crowd reaching over the rails, and crowd detail, such as interaction with vendors and placing K signs.

If I can make a simple request? …Tiger Stadium. All I ask for is the ability to play at the corner of Michigan and Trumbull one last time… and if that isn’t possible, can we make it so that we never traded Curtis Granderson? No?

Well, piss.

Listen live below, get us on iTunes, Zune, or download the mp3 directly here

Show Notes | Topics | Related Links

Cliff notes for the Interview (we jump all over the place):

*Erik, meet Binge Gamer
*Subpoenas the celebrities (Bill Gates, Winona Ryder, etc)
*Is a lawyer pulling the strings of Erik?
*Why sue instead of just putting the controller down?
*Erik’s mental illnesses
*The World of Warcraft Activision/Blizzard debacle
*The Sony/Playstation 3 case
*Erik, serious about these cases or not? What motivates him?
*”gaming world” versus the “real world”
*License agreements and clicking “I Agree” without reading
*The Microsoft/Xbox 360 case
*The Nintendo/Wii Homebrew Channel debacle
*Medications
*Gaming blog possibly hiring Erik?
*Counter suing the disabled
*Jack Thompson
*Morals and ethics
*Back to the celeb subpoenas
*Credibility

Random News Blips:

Coming soon: Star Trek Online

Also coming soon: Green Day Rock Band

Thoughts on the interview with Erik

Sonic/Sega’s All Star Racing including Banjo Kazooie

New Transformers game not related to the movie

Video Games Live will be on PBS! WATCH IT!

Greatest gaming eBay auction ever

EDIT: I fail at math. Numbers updated. -JW

When companies like Sony and Microsoft release new consoles, they usually expect to take some kind of hardware loss early on in the hopes of making up for it with software sales and hardware sales later on in the console’s lifecycle. For the most part it is a solid long-term plan, but for all it’s trying Sony just can’t pull in the PS3’s manufacturing costs.

Earlier in the year Sony dropped the price of the PlayStation 3 to $299, after months of reports which stated that Sony was able to cut down the cost of manufacturing the console by some 60%. Normally when a company announces that they can make a product for 60% cheaper than they could previously, there would be mass rejoicing in the streets*, but Sony still finds itself operating at a loss.

Of $37.27.

Yes, according to iSuppli, which specializes in figuring out how much things cost to make*, the BOM (Bill of Materials) combined with manufacturing and test costs bumps the cost of building a PlayStation 3 to $336.27, meaning that Sony is taking a hit of roughly $32 with each console sold.

While the minor difference is the closest Sony has come to breaking even on the PS3, one can’t help but imagine Sony executives sitting around a big glass table, bashing their heads against the surface as they scramble to figure out how to cut an extra $40 from manufacturing costs.

*For businessmen, “rejoicing” means cigars and brandy.
*That is a very drastic oversimplification

Listen live below, get us on iTunes, or download the mp3 directly here

Show Notes | Topics | Related Links

GameX GameX GameX – The con, before, during, and after, feel as though you were there as we tell our tales.

NEWS:

-Leaked Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Footage is Osama bin Laden Approved

-Nintendo Reveals Redesigned DSi

-Bayonetta Gets North American Release Date

-PS3 Owners Can Own Bayonetta Before Anyone Else

-Netflix Coming to PS3 (PS3 Disc Required For a Limited Time)

-DJ Hero Being Met with Resounding ‘Meh’

-Roger Daltrey Kinda, Sorta Confirms The Who: Rock Band

-Man Kills Son Over Video Game

-Hideo Kojima “Very Surprised”

-Shigeru Miyamoto Wishes You Liked Star Fox as Much as He Does

-Rumor: Assassin’s Creed III to be Set in Feudal Japan?

-Erik Estavillo Sues Sony Yet. Again.

Listen live below, get us on iTunes, or download the mp3 here

Show Notes | Topics | Related Links
JAMES vs DEATH!

Binge Gamer is Still Hiring Through October (email james at bingegamer.net)

NEWS

-Capcom Fails at Names, Announces Super Street Fighter IV

-GameCrazy Fails, Having Massive Sales

-Gameloft Fails, Calls “Earthworm Jim HD” “New”, Built From Ground Up

-Rumor Has It That Alpha Protocol Fails, Is Majorly Delayed

-PSPgo Fails, Lacks UMD Transfer

-Coming soon .. PSP 4000!!

-PSPgo Fails Even More, “Media Go” is PC Only

-PSPgo Fails Even More AGAIN, Fails To Meet Sony’s Blowback Expectations

-Need for Speed: Shift Fails, Hard.

-Jack Thompson Fails, Sues Facebook

-Screenwriter for Silent Hill Sequel Fails, Sentenced to A Year in Jail

-Rumor Has It That SEGA Fails, Is Bringing Back Daytona USA Series WithOUT Daytona USA Name

-Activision Fails, is Already Recruiting for DJ Hero Sequel

-DJ Hero not compatible with ANYTHING

-Sony Advertising Fails (and Wins), Calls Fanbase Nazi Sympathizers

-DJ Hero’s Tracklist

As a devout Sony fanboy, I support them in everything they do.* So it goes without saying when they post an ad in Chili like the one pictured above, I’m going to run to their defense when everyone starts talking controversy and say, “Now wait just a gosh darn minute! There’s more to it than that, man!”

And there is!

I mean, Nazi blood transfusions and graphic heart transplants have everything to do with video games. That’s what this industry was founded on, man.

[awkward silence]

Alright, so maybe this ad doesn’t make a thread of sense. But I do admire Sony for their gutsy and rather inventive marketing methods. They really love getting under people’s skin, don’t they?

But I don’t think it’s restricted to marketing, per se. Look at the PSP Go [rawr!], PlayStation Home, or even the senseless bullshit of me (of all people) not getting into the Sony Press Conference at E3.** Sony, my love—you know exactly what you’re doing.

So expect yet another explosion regarding yet another questionable marketing tactic by sweet ol’ Sony.

You know, explosions like this. Or this.

Or even this.

Stay tuned, kids. Next week we’ll likely see a 30-second clip of Sony’s Kaz Hirai beating a Miyamoto pinata with a lead pipe followed by the new PS3 logo and that lovely PlayStation “dling!”

Via: Engadget.

*No joke, I really am a Sony fanboy.

**I’d have an article to link to about this, but I never finished it. It currently resides as a draft haunting our WordPress dashboard.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009—a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

It was a day that began like any other. I woke up, read my feed reader, ate a half-eaten cheese danish from the night before—nothing out of the ordinary.

But then I got the message—the message that would bring me to the brink of tears, despite the fact that I’m a stone-cold badass:

… Okay, so I lost that too. But what it sums up to is this: Binge Gamer fuckin’ crashed that day, wiping the slate clean and leaving four of the most talented people in the industry (me included) on their knees, beckoning to the heavens, wondering where the hell all their pretty chalk drawings and witty rantings went to.

Now I know how all those families felt back in the 1960s when Kennedy ate that bullet—literally.

Too soon?

Perhaps. But watching my dream ship sink from the shoreline left me bitter and ruthless. No one is safe. NO ONE!

Fortunately for the rest of the internet, Binge Gamer is hardly a keystone in its functionality, and everyone else continued to surf through cyberspace unaffected while we suffered the wrath of a web monsoon. This includes YouTube.

Ah, YouTube. My digital time machine. My virtual capsule of eternal youth. You’re my door to the past; my electronic solitude.

You let me watch old video game commercials for free.

Anyone born before 1990 knows just what I’m talking about, and anyone born before 2000 should at the very least have some sort of faint idea. Video game commercials have always treaded that fine line between… well, they’ve always treaded a fine line.

For some reason, I find these commercials absurdly awesome. Sure, some of them are lame, and others are downright disturbing, but when I watch these clips, I’m home again.

So here you are, folks. For your viewing pleasure: ten of the best video game commercials EVAR!!!!11!!112!2@PerryPiekarski!@1102!!?!

10.) Guy Getting Hit by Baseball

When I started pulling this list together, I thought to myself, “Perry, what better way to kick off any list tha with a guy getting hit in the gnads by a baseball?”

Of course, there’s no denying my own brilliance, nor the brilliance of this commercial. Sega got it right when they assumed gamers wanted to see their nemesis—the professional athlete—take one right in the junk.

Thanks, Sega. You truly do understand gamers. Let’s just hope your next Sonic game isn’t a flop.

9.) Sony PlayStation Slim Price Drop

Alright, so here’s my logic behind this one:

While it’s too soon for this commercial to have any significant nostalgic value or to even be considered a classic, there’s no denying that it’s fucking hilarious. Note how Sony pokes fun at their own inability to keep a secret.

Also: I want that “PS3 is $299″ t-shirt. Anyone who gets me one will be my best friend forever.

So here’s the deal: I stick this video at the number 9 slot simply because it’s excellent, and you deal with it.

EDIT: Several days after I’d already chosen the first price drop commercial for the list, a second and third hit the scene. They’re just as brilliant, and it makes me want to give Sony some sort of medal for finally learning how to advertise.

8.) Sonic & Knuckles… or this Honey Nut Cheerios One

I can’t decide between midgets or a talking bee trying to sell me a breakfast cereal that tastes like the goop made from his saliva.

Therefore, we count them as one commercial, pretend this is still a top ten, and move on.

7.) Yoshi’s Island – GLUTTON!

I love Yoshi’s Island. It’s easily one of the best games for the SNES and one of the quirkiest, most memorable titles of all time.

Unfortunately, its ad campaign was disturbing as hell.

That guy exploding after he swallows that last dollop of whipped cream is kind of—er, nasty. It was then. It is now. It always will be.

Editor’s note: whipped cream is the food equivalent of C4. Also take note of how he erupts into a spewing wave of green goop—not blood like you’d think. That’s Nintendo for ya.

6.) ZELLLLDUHHHH!

Kind of… um… nevermind.

Any comment I make about this commercial will likely get me in trouble, so I’m taking the high road and keeping my big mouth shut.

I’m so proud of me. ^_^

5.) MORTALLLL KOOOMMMBAAAT!!!!

Bad. Ass.

If you’re going to yell anything, this is what it should be.

Really, if there’s one thing you need to do before you die, it’s stand on your roof and shout MORTALLLL KOOOMMMBAAAT!!!! at the kids in your neighborhood. If you’re lucky, they’ll fight to the death while you heckle them from above. Just make sure you head inside before the cops come after one of them reaches into the other’s chest and tears out his beating heart with his BARE HANDS.

Bad. Ass.

4.) Game Gear Got Color; Game Boy Don’t.

Fun fact: Nintendo’s Game Boy also had a lifespan that was about four times that of the Game Gear. Ponder that one for a while.

I’mma gonna go play some GBA games on my DS, now. Enjoy the commercial.

3.) Super Smash Bros. – So Happy Together

How great was it the first time you saw this commercial?

Me? I was confused as all bloody hell. Here’s the typical reaction the first time anyone sees this ad:

1. Um… wth?
2. Um… wth?
3. Um… that was awesome, but wth?

All in all, the commercial’s great, and I applaud Nintendo for taking a new direction with their beloved characters that was both innovative and unexpected.

2.) Sega CD—You Don’t Got One? FAIL!

Racist—even down to its title on YouTube—this commercial exemplifies every white man’s desire to be black and Sega’s awareness of that useful little factoid.

Genius! Too bad the Sega CD was a P.O.S.

If only Sega’s consoles were as successful as their ads. ZING!

1.) The Ratchet & Clank Commercials… ALL OF THEM!

In my opinion, Ratchet & Clank is host to the greatest video game commercials of all time. They’re funny. They’re inventive. They’re filled with explosions. What more do you want?

These commercials are so good that Insomniac even went as far as to include them as unlockable content in the first R&C. I must have watched them a thousand times each.

My personal favorite has to be the one with the kid on the tractor for the Decoy Gun. The terror in his mom’s voice as his inflatable doppelganger gets smashed by a truck is so pure, my heart swells with pride each time I hear it.

Does this make me a bad person? Probably. But I’m still going to laugh every time I see it.

]]> http://www.bingegamer.net/2009/ten-of-the-best-gaming-commercials-ever/feed/ 1 http://www.bingegamer.net/2009/get-on-the-tester-and-fix-sonys-mistakes-for-a-living/ http://www.bingegamer.net/2009/get-on-the-tester-and-fix-sonys-mistakes-for-a-living/#comments Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:39:58 +0000 Perry Piekarski http://www.bingegamer.net/?p=15230

Earlier today, Sony made a pretty bold announcement: they’re going to host their own reality TV PSN program, and the casting call starts today.

“The Tester” is giving gamers a chance to appear on a reality show where they can compete for an opportunity to test games for the big dogs at PlayStation. From the looks of it, “The Tester” will be broadcast over the PSN, bringing Sony one step closer to their ultimate goal of CONQUERING THE WORLD propelling the PlayStation brand to be more than just a game console.

Although I have mixed feelings about “The Tester”, I do think it’s an interesting concept. If Sony does it right, perhaps the new show will give gamers a better look at what a day in the life of a game tester is really like. It’s certainly not candy apples and bubblegum, that’s for sure. More like a mouthful of rocks garnished with slightly smaller, yet sharper rocks. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Anyone interested in applying for a role on “The Tester” should look no further than this site here.

If you decide to enter, let us know and we’ll root for you. Well, maybe.*

*Moral support is dependent upon actual admittance to “The Tester”, as well as the number of times you mention BingeGamer.net on camera. The more you mention us, the more moral support you get.

Listen live below, get us on iTunes, or download the mp3 here

Show Notes | Topics | Related Links

We have been gaming on: Plants vs Zombies (PC), Oblivion (PS3 & Xbox 360), 1 vs. 100 Beta (Xbox 360), Sacred 2 (Xbox 360), Desktop Tower Defnese (Flash), TetrisFriends (Flash), Naruto (DS)

Microsoft: Left 4 Dead 2, Forza 3 vs Gran Turismo, Last.fm / Twitter / Facebook, Project Natal (Jimmy Fallon apperance), Milo

Nintendo: Super Mario Galaxy 2, Vitality Sensor

Just for Mike: Lost Planet 2 lovefest.

Sony: Hannah Montana PSP Bundle, PS2 Will Live Forever, Uncharted 2, MAG (Massive Action Game), PSP Go!, The Final Fantasy XIV, Mod Nation Racers

Annnnd: Ubisoft, Capcom, Bethesda, YouTube commenters, Brutal Legend, Perfect Dark XLBA

*Note: We talk about more games than what is just listed above, but those are the broad strokes. For the full list of E3 Games and their release dates, click here!

All .gifs courtesy of GAF’s E3 2009 gifs/Photoshops Thread

Though I’ve recently come down with a mild case of the pig cold, my love for games and my other love for writing about them knows no bounds. This polygamous relationship works in your favor, dear reader, as you get to witness all the exploits of my E3 adventure in a second-hand fashion (or at least all the exploits I post before I’m devoured alive internally by microscopic swine—that is how pig cold works, isn’t it?).

The PixelJunk games are what you get when you combine the addictive qualities a flash games with the artistic depth of an exhibit at the MOMA. While I was only a mild fan of the very well-to-do PixelJunk Eden, I still recognize it as one of the prettiest games on the PSN, with its only true competition being Flower (argue me that one, I dare ya!).

Of course, the upcoming PixelJunk Shooter is no different as far as external appearances go. PixelJunk Shooter’s glorious combination of pastel, interactive environments with simple, yet addictive gameplay is what assures me this game is going to do quite well for itself.

Like most other modern say shooters, PixelJunk Shooter relies on a dual stick control scheme—the left stick makes you go and the right changes your direction. The player floats around a cave-like environment flooded with water and molten lava while rescuing astronauts from giant bats and the crumbling geographical hazards that surround them.

Using your crane (aka a giant stickyball on a chain) and an endless supply of missile, you can destroy certain walls and barriers to unleash water onto lava—and vice versa—to gain access to your imprisoned spacesuit-wearing buddies. When the water and lava touch, destructible ground appears. This means you can now shoot your way through the dirt and access areas that were formerly off limits.

Just be careful not to drown or melt your boys. They probably wouldn’t take too kindly to that.

All in all, PixelJunk Shooter is the perfect mix of aesthetic beauty, mild shooter action, and laid-back puzzles to keep you entertained for hours. While the demo I played never provided any brain-crushing challenge, I’m sure the final version will offer some crazy spike in difficulty, forcing me to yank the hairs from my head one by one as I struggle to complete the damn thing.

Or maybe we’ll get a title that’ll just let us unwind. We could certainly use another one of those. Word on the street is that we can expect a Q3 2009 release date. Works for me.

Screenshots and video below. I’m going back to bed.

[flickrset id="72157619259913257" thumbnail="square"]