Binge Gamer Dot Net

Here’s a feel good story to throw in the face of someone who tries to tell you that video games breed nothing but violence. A South Dakota man who loves to golf but has been unable to since his knee surgery has found a new way to continue to play the game he loves: The Nintendo Wii.

Charlie Kosier of Watertown, South Dakota is the latest example of these “feel good” stories about the Nintendo Wii. While I’m happy for Charlie, this kind of crap is getting out of hand. I can’t tell you how many websites I’ve come across that had some kind of story like this. Whether it be overweight children using the Wii in some sadly misguided attempt to try and get into shape, or a news story involving the elderly getting in touch with their “inner child” because the Wii allows them to flail their arms around a bit, it seems that I just can’t get away from these damned news stories. I get it. The Wii was sculpted from marble given to man by Zeus himself. I still don’t care.

There was actually a news report on one of my local news outlets that focused on how the Wii was being used as a tool to keep surgeons sharp between operations. Now I don’t know about you, but the idea of my surgeon, whom I am trusting with my life, getting his pre-surgery brushing up done on Trauma Center: Second Opinion has me a little bit concerned.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is by no means an attack on the Wii itself. I actually happen to think the Wii is a wonderful platform with some truly inventive and original titles. But all of this shameless Wii gloating by the general populace, especially in the American media, has gotten both tired and out of hand.

I’ve seen more than a few stories on the news that showcase people attempting to lose weight by playing Wii Sports. They all more or less look the same; some kind of uber-motivational piece with the really chipper reporter talking over file footage of a half-dozen people jazzercising in front of an LCD screen, all holding Wiimotes and wearing brightly colored spandex that’s reminiscent of Olivia Newton John’s “Physical” video. Every time I see this it saddens me because these people don’t realize that they’re living a lie. You are not actually working out when you play Wii Bowling. It even got to the point where the British Medical Journal — REAL DOCTORS — published a study that debunked this myth. I’m sorry folks, but once an actual medical journal that is respected throughout the civilized world feels the need to take a moment to remind people that playing a video game is not exercise, I think it’s safe to say that such a belief has been thoroughly debunked (or “owned”, as we say).

Another popular story that you see on the news a whole hell of a lot are these stories showing grandma Betty playing Rayman Raving Rabbids or whatever. You know, they all start off the same way:

97 year-old Betty Anderson hasn’t been able to play her favorite game - tennis - since she was in her 70’s, because of her bad hips. Well, now Betty can play her favorite game once again thanks to a new video game system called the Nintendo Wii, and a game called “Wii Sports” that allows the player to simulate real-life tennis racket movements by using motion sensor controls.

… where do I even begin? Well for starters the piece itself is actually very depressing, when you think about it. I mean, she’s 97 years-old. By the time this video segment gets edited down and airs, there is a very real possibility that poor Betty is dead. I don’t know about you, but that would bring my mood down a bit.

Secondly, why does the reporter always refer to the Wii as “a new video game system”, as though nobody in the Winston-Salem area has ever heard of a game console before? Or better yet, when they emphasize “video game” (i.e. “the new *beat* VIDEO GAME *beat* system…”) as though us primitive folk will think it’s some sort of evil vessel of anarchy and disease conjured up by dark spirits. It’s at that point that I know the entire news story will be a giant pile of bull.

For the love of… this “geriatric gaming” media shitstorm even made it to the Today Show!

I do have to admit that I rather enjoyed Marion Summer’s explanation of why the elderly love the Wii: It’s loud and brightly colored. Oh, and I also love how they patronize the elderly man at the end… poor old fogy doesn’t even know where the hell he is…

So is this ever going to change? Eventually, it will. Sooner or later the Wii will lose enough momentum that the mainstream media will move on, en masse, to the next fad to artificially hype. You know, like locusts move from field to field, consuming every natural resource and leaving only destruction and tears in their wake.

The Wii is a video game system. It plays video games. Hell, I even hear a few of them are pretty good. But all of this praise and attention placed on the Wii for all of these different, absurd reasons has just been blown out of proportion. It kind of makes me wish for more nuclear power plant meltdowns and avian flu outbreaks, just to keep the news agencies busy enough to focus on the stuff that matters.