Opinion: You are an Epic Failure
Here’s the thing. I am well aware the gaming has evolved to the point where it isn’t even truly “geeky” anymore. There are millions or really cool guys and girls who consider themselves gamers. Some date other gamers. Some do not. Generally, everyone just has fun.
But then, there are THOSE guys. You sit at home in your basement apartment, eating your mother’s pot pie, wearing a cape, and making fun of n00bs with your level-100000 character. You’re the stereotypical gamer nerd who thinks he’s cool because he’s unlocked some kind of obscure magical feature on Diablo.
Before you start waving your staff or sword or whatever at me, realize this: I have no problem with you either. If gaming, sci-fi conventions in costume, and hentai make you happy, rock on with your bad self, dude.
But to all of you in that demographic who whine that girls like me are close-minded…screw off. Seriously. Screw. Off.
Guess what? The average girl out there will give a gamer a chance. Even a hard-core gamer. We like it that you’re passionate about something, that you have a hobby. Sure, there are a few snobs out there who won’t give any PlayStation or Xbox owner the time of day, but in general girls are down.
If you’re complaining that you can’t get a girl, it is NOT because you play video games. There’s only one reason you’re still a virgin: You are an epic failure.
Go on, tell yourself that you’re waiting for the “right” girl to come along before you ask someone out. Ask yourself this: when are you going to meet the right girl in your bedroom?
I know the truth. The truth is that you haven’t brushed your teeth in weeks because you get caught up in WoW quests. The truth is that you rarely go outside because you’re busy killing some amazing boss to collect some amazing item to sell on ebay. The truth is you don’t even KNOW if you hate the music they play at bars or dance clubs because you haven’t gone to one in ten years or so.
And while we’re on the subject of ABSOLUTE LOSERS…no, a girl you chat with every night is not your girlfriend, no matter where she likes to stick your wizard staff.
STOP BLAMING VIDEO GAMES FOR YOUR PROBLEMS.
Play your Final Fantasy or whatever…but get out of the damn house every few months. Or years. No, your niece’s birthday party doesn’t count. If you like your little world of fantasy, that’s completely ok, but you made your bed - lie in it. The next guy who tells me that it’s OUR fault for being too stuck-up to consider a date with a gamer? I’ll tell you exactly where to stick your wizard staff.
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[…] You Are An Epic Failure […]
I think you just have a problem with wood paneling.
Your article, however, is bang on. And funny.
I work in IT and know exactly the type you are referring to. From a guys perspective the same is also true of some women. A gamer with a healthy life balance = cool. A gamer whose life is gaming = epic failure.
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Allison Boyer reply on April 30, 2008:
And you know, it really doesn’t even matter to me if that’s your whole life…but then don’t complain that the girls (or guys in the other case) have the problem. If you want to date people, you need to have more than one interest or really, you just become a cartoon character version of yourself.
Wood paneling *shudder* :-p
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WoW is terribly addictive. I started playing thinking the game was just that, a game. But no, don’t let anyone tell you that. I have been playing for awhile now and i usually do play everyday but not all day (well some days). It has since gotten boring because i have hit the level cap and now all i need to do is invest 10000000 hours of my time into getting a better staff/sword.
Of course video games shouldn’t be considered as a “primary need”
But should attracting members of the opposite sex or same sex (whatever the fuck your into) really be the primary reason for living? People who rely on relationships are just as bad if not worse than people who rely on video games.
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Acutually, I play video games to relax whilst going outside and enjoying the fresh air and even hanging out with friends. The close-minded girls in my town won’t give gamers the light of day. Also, I hate chuckleheads who believe that playing WoW makes you a gamer. MMO’s make you a faggot, not a gamer. I can see now that just because I go around talking to tons of chicks and none of them are interested in videogames in general. Through your logic you may not believe that girls can be cruel and vindictive through ages 15-22, but if you think back to those days I’m sure you would be able to say you did the same thing.
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Allison Boyer reply on May 4, 2008:
Um…I just turned 23, dude. I have plenty of girly friends, many of whom have never picked up a controller, and I don’t know a single one of them that would say no to a guy based on the fact that he’s a gamer.
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eyowa reply on May 4, 2008:
I refuse to believe that you would know exactly what your friends would say.
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Allison Boyer reply on May 4, 2008:
I refuse to argue with idiots. Here’s a clue, man: it isn’t the video games.
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eyowa reply on May 7, 2008:
protip: I’m no idiot
I do however misunderstand your meaning of “The average girl out there will give a gamer a chance.” Because it seems not to apply in all cases.
also, you’ve been trolled.
James Walker reply on May 5, 2008:
I’ve been playing Dark Age of Camelot since 2004 — and I assure you, good sir, I am not a “faggot”, as you so eloquently put it.
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I want you.
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