Opinion: If Gaming is Ruining Your Relationship, You Lose.
I came across this article today at Yahoo! News, and I just had to laugh. This was actually on the Yahoo! homepage for a bit today.
For those of you who don’t want to click the link above (and I don’t blame you), let me sum up the article: Video games are bad for your relationship. Just look at the example they give you - Jocelyn and her husband got a divorce after six years because of World of Warcraft. She swears to stay away from gamers altogether now. However, there is still hope for you! If your boyfriend is addicted to gaming, there are seven things you can do to save your relationship:
1. Reinforce “good” behavior (like taking out the trash), like they reward players in video games.
2. Go see a video game movie together.
3. Fake a power outage to turn off the game.
4. Use video games to inspire your sexy time.
5. Dress up like a video game character.
6. Go on a weekend get-away
7. Play games with him.
My first problem with this article is that it assumes that only guys game…and that there is something wrong with gaming…and that you can easily fix this problem using the seven steps above. Guess what, Yahoo! News?
If your relationship is failing because of video games, it is YOUR fault.
No one blames other hobbies for failed relationships. Why should gaming get the finger pointed at it? If you point the finger at video games for a relationship failure, I’ll tell you right where you can stick that finger.
If your relationship is failing, it is because your boyfriend (or girlfriend, because you don’t have to have a penis to like video games) is more interested in video games than in you. That’s the problem.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s look at those ideas they gave us for fixing a sinking relationship:
1. Reinforce “good” behavior (like taking out the trash), like they reward players in video games.
Unless you are dating a dog, this is a shitty idea. You shouldn’t “train” your boyfriend by giving him incentives to do things. If you want him to pitch it around the house, talk to him about your frustrations. If your significant other is mature and cares about your relationship, he’ll start picking up after himself. I mean, give me a break. You reward a five-year-old with a gold star. Stop patronizing your boyfriend.
2. Go see a video game movie together.
I’m all for going to see movies. I’m all for going to see “video game” movies (by that, I guess they mean a movie inspired by a video game). But if this is the only options you have for things to do together…um…you need to break up. You should have lots of shared interests. You don’t have to like ALL of the same things, but if the ONLY thing you both like is a video game inspired movie…
The best part about this tip, though, was the end when the author recommended putting the moves on him before the movie was over to prevent him from turning on his console when the credits begin to role. Right, because the only thing that he could possibly want to do after watching a movie with you other than play is have sex. Guys don’t care about anything else, right?
3. Fake a power outage to turn off the game.
So, you want me to lie to my boyfriend to get him to spend time with me? That’s a healthy relationship idea.
4. Use video games to inspire your sexy time.
Again with the sex? Is this the only activity that can pull a gamer away? I’m all for fun costumes, but this is ridiculous. If you have to dress up like a guy from CoD4 (because that’s what they suggest) in order to catch your boyfriend’s attention, you both have problems. Fuel your fantasies, but don’t rely on them to stay together.
5. Dress up like a video game character.
Wasn’t that the last tip? Unless…you mean…I’m supposed to just walk around the house dressed up like Zelda or Liara from Mass Effect? Wtf. Newsflash: A costume isn’t going to make the incessant chatter coming out of your mouth any more interesting to your boyfriend.
6. Go on a weekend get-away.
I actually like this idea for any relationship. When things get a bit boring, going on a trip together is a fun way to add some excitement to your life. But (and there is always a but), if you think that a weekend vacation will solve major relationship problems, you’re kidding yourself.
7. Play games with him.
Finally a GOOD idea. Before you yell at him for playing WoW or any other game for hours, why not check out it and see that it is actually fun. You want him to go clubbing with you? Why not try a little Xbox with him? This is a two-way street, and if you’re unwilling to bend, he will be as well.
That said, it is STUPID to play video games if you just don’t like them. Yes, I’ve come to the realization that some people aren’t fans. (Sad.)
How about this tip for improving your relationship: Get a new fucking relationship. Seriously. If gaming is ruining your relationship, it is for one of two reasons: Your boyfriend is immature or he’s just not that into you. Gaming is a great hobby to have, so if you can’t embrace that, peace out.
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Great article, Allison, I completely agree!
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Hear, hear.
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[…] You can read the hilarious Yahoo! News article here, and check out Allison Boyer’s response here. […]
Allison, I like you. I was laughing my butt off for that entire article.
I couldn’t agree more. There are serious gamers who just want a girlfriend around for occasional use/abuse. Then there are serious gamers who can maintain a healthy relationship, either because their girl games too, or because she has an interest that she does out with her friends.
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Rollett reply on March 18, 2008:
I dont agree with you… about the last two points on your responce… (Geek’s Dream Girl)… But i DO love this artical and im a guy… Hell i dont like half the responses up there.. and if my wife started dressing like a COD4 person i would want to know WTF is going on.
And on that note something i dont understand about some of my friends… they always go off and find a girl.. (or man) that doesnt like games. When they do, And 90% of those relation ships fail because not only does the other half not like to play them… They consider them the devil and try to purge it from the lifes of the gamer… Not cool..
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spig reply on March 18, 2008:
As a gamer girl I have seen soooo sooo many of my male gamer compatriots go after girls who could care less about gaming and are mystified when it fails. I’m in a relationship where really just about the only thing we have in common is WoW…and guess what, it works fine
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Rollett reply on March 18, 2008:
Aww yes your pointing out exactly what i was talking about… and i see the SAME stuff… Also know a female gamer (a real looker) that will date guys that are Jocks and sportsie type guys.. and never works out because they HATE games lol.
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[…] You can read the hilarious Yahoo! News spread here, and check out Allison Boyer’s response here. […]
[…] In fact, Jonathan had the same idea, but when he saw that Allison had already done so (and did a good job at it, I must say), he gave her the love. So we give him the love. That’s how this […]
I’m still not over the suggestion of dressing up like someone from Call of Duty 4. I mean… do women really want to have sex with someone named “Soap McTavish”?
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Allison reply on March 18, 2008:
What girl doesn’t want soap up her…um…nevermind…
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soap mctavish reply on March 19, 2008:
Can I give you a hand with that lassie?
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James Walker reply on March 19, 2008:
…somehow… I knew someone would go there. :p
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As a female gamer, and an avid WoW player, the Yahoo post made me giggle, and your post is so true. If video games are ruining your relationship, it’s not a true relationship! I make sure it’s alright that I play sometimes when my husband is home, we make time for each other everyday, and he plays video games too. I hate how video games get blamed for so much.
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Um.. that yahoo article was meant to be a joke.
NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!
sheesh >.<
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Exactly what I was yelling as I was reading the original post. Well done!
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Honestly, I don’t think that article was meant to be taken seriously. For example, the “Reinforce good behavior” bit was obviously just making fun of the stupidity of level-grinding mechanics in RPG’s. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would seriously suggest such a practice with a straight face. I’d say it’s the same thing with all the sex references. Granted, these jokes were still not that funny, but I don’t think it’s worth getting so worked up over it.
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I’d suggest with a straight face to reinforce good behavior with simple quick rewards just like videogames do.
I guess there are a tons of the sims players who read this article, isnt it amazing how this game lies on on your mind during the day, reinforcing your desire to have a clean house and an positive life?
There _are_ links between “real-life” and “game-life” and trying to reinforce positive behavior by rewards is a great tactic anyway : what we instinctively do is bitch and try to control through punishment, and it doesnt work.
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Well… it’s right, it’s not the game. AND you got a HUGHE point there: if the other person thinks a game is more important, and does not care about the other person (non-gamer) feelings… then THAT PERSON FAILS. Why? gaming is good, is relaxing, gets you away from real life for a while… but if it becomes and obsession… if it turns you away from other important things …
Well, nothing. I was just trying to say, YEAH, THE GUY IS IMMATURE … if both participants on the relationship are equally immature (like one trying to avoid the fact that the other person is really more interested in a game than in the person next to him) in that case break up.
My boyfriend occupies most of his time playing… but I recognize he’s (we’re not) going through good times. I relax by getting away, watching at the sun. He relaxes through gaming. I remember when things were not as today, he would be gaming only a couple of hours a day, and then get back to me. So I guess when this is all over, he’ll do the same.
So … yeah. Either you understand your other half, or break up with him, because not only he might be immature, you also are not getting the whole picture of what your so-called other half is about: aka, you dont know the guy.
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Great article. I enjoyed some of the comments too, I’m definitely going to be evaluating the interests of prospective partners before embarking on a serious relationship more than I have. (because tf2 rules.)
@ andrew, Jim, and GnaM,
while the article may not be meant to be taken seriously, (althought to be honest, as per some yahoo articles, I doubt that’s the case.), there are foolish partners out there who read that stuff, and go do it. While partners willing to try out that stuff may be up destined to doom the relationship anyway (but not necessarily always, they might just be misguided but sweetly annoying), if I got the power turned off on me, it would be WTF city, and I’d be the mayor. Rest assured because the original article was written, there are soon-to-be-dumped partners out there considering it (though, probably for the best). Articles like the original just help perpetuate the myth that gaming is to blame. Did they do this with D&D back in the 80’s? Todays media are just poisonous sometimes. Thanks for the antidote, Allison.
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I couldn’t understand some parts of this article on: If Gaming is Ruining Your Relationship, You Lose., but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
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