Binge Gamer

If the Associated Press is to be believed (and come on, they’re the AP), the home of such quality programming like Viva Laughlin and The Will, CBS, has purchased CNet to the tune of $1.8 billion in cash that CBS seemingly has just lying around. The $1.8b price tag breaks down to roughly $11.50 per share, which is a 45% premium over CNet’s closing stock prices.

Okay, now I’m not sure if CBS realizes what they’ve just done, but as I’ve learned by watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island (which aired on CBS) it’s a lot easier to build a coconut radio than it is to fix a sinking ship. While I understand that CBS wants to get in on the internet market, I have a hard time thinking that CNet was their only option. With that said, though, I do have a few suggestions for GameSpot’s new overlords, CBS:

1.) Fire Everbody
Look, the only way you’re ever going to regain credibility over at GameSpot is if you have an honest and competent staff on hand. Say what you will, the gaming public feels that GameSpot is a corrupt entity run by poo-flingin’ baboons (for good reason). The only way you can remedy this is to shit can everybody involved with GameSpot, from the top down to the very bottom.

2.) Get Back to Basics
GameSpot used to be about in-depth gaming news and kick ass reviews. Now when you go to GameSpot’s homepage you’re bombarded with half a dozen podcasts that, frankly, people don’t give a shit about. Get back to what GameSpot used to be good at, which was having tons of breaking news, fascinating interviews and informative, HONEST (for the love of God, honest) reviews.

3.) Tone it Down a Little
Take a good look at this homepage:

Notice something? Here, let me show you again. I’ll help you this time:

Yeah, besides the fact that “5″ gum has absolutely nothing to do with video games (which is some bullshit we’ll get to in a minute), the GameSpot homepage has a whole lot of shit going on — and that’s just what you can see on a single screen capture. If you scroll down you find boxes and links to the following:

1. Picks
2. Previews
3. Reviews
4. Videos
5. Features
6. Coming Attractions (usually a podcast)
7. GameSpot Site Blogs
8. GameSpot User Soapbox
9. GameSpot Game Guides
10. Featured User Videos
11. GameSpot Live Program
12. Top Downloads
13. Most Popular

Now, I’m not an overly smart individual, but by my count that’s thirteen separate things on a homepage (the numbers help). You have a lot going on with GameSpot’s homepage, which makes it a pain in the ass to load and a chore to navigate. Not to mention that it just looks kind of bad.

Oh, and again — cut back on the “in your face” advertising. You’re CBS, for Christ sake. You can afford it.

4.) Lose Some ‘Features’
Much in the same way that fat people say “I have curves” to try and make themselves feel better, saying your website has a million “features” is a kind way of saying “we’re cluttered”. An easy way you can cut back on the clutter is to drop some of the links at the top of your navigation bar. If you don’t believe me when I say that there’s a definite feature overload at GameSpot, consider this: They have a feature tab called ‘features’.

Now, I’m not saying you should get rid of everything — not by a long shot. Writers and Editors reserve the right to write about their opinions whenever they wish, as I see it. But when you have other items on the navigation bar that should be lumped with features (or removed entirely), it just makes everything look bad. For instance: Cheat Codes. Lose it. If you polled GameSpot users, I would be willing to bet good money that they, to a person, use the search bar, thus making the cheat code tab useless.

Another useless tab? “Sports”. GameSpot doesn’t need an entire subsection of its website devoted solely to news regarding sports games. Why not? Because last I checked, CNet (and now CBS) still owned SportsGamer. Yeah, an entire website devoted to sports games. Holy crap, right?

5.) Make Shit Free!
One thing that I can’t stand about some websites is that they charge people for things that, really, should be free. It takes away from the “for the people” feel and will eventually create hostility in your community towards you, the content provider, as well as other members of the community. Contests and, as is described by GameSpot “unlimited access to live event coverage” should not be accessable by only those who were gullible enough to pay real money.

Something else that users should not have to pay for is the ability to surf the entire website — a feat made nearly impossible by the advertising that’s splattered all over every page. The fact that the only way people can avoid these ridiculous ads is to pay a premium fee is, to put it kindly, a ripoff of epic proportions. You want to charge a fee for faster downloads and streaming HD video, we can talk — but don’t tell me I have to pay you to be allowed to read a review without half a dozen pop-up advertisements harassing me.

6.) Manage Your Forums
I get that having volunteer moderators is a cool little way to bring the community in, but have you seen the GameSpot message boards recently? You have some areas that are out of control, and others that are borderline-fascist states of conformity, where any opposing viewpoint is immediately hammered down. I know for a fact that if I posted this on GameSpot’s message board, the over/under on me being banned for life would be 18 seconds.

Back to my point: Hire people, and pay them to moderate your forums. But you may want to think about, oh, redesigning your forums. When you have free message board services that allow more features than GameSpot’s current system, there are problems to be addressed.

Finally…

7.) Relax!
Look, we write about video games. Not politics, not the economy, not the environment. Video games. Try to have a little fun with it. I’ve seen far too many gaming websites try to take a super-serious look at video games, and frankly most of what I’ve read of the “uber-serious” type is awful. It’s not the writer’s fault, it’s just the nature of the subject matter. After all, it’s hard to be serious about a disgruntled soap opera fan who grabs a shotgun and shoots cop-pigs in the face while spewing one-liners from “Bruce Campbell vs. Army of Darkness”.

There you go. These are just a few ways CBS can turn GameSpot around and make it a respectable gaming news outlet once again. Of course, hiring the three of us wouldn’t hurt them, either… not that I’m asking… I’m just saying, really… I could use the work, that’s all.