I recently rejoined the Xbox 360 family and while I certainly love the 360 and all it has to offer me as both a gamer and a fan of “stuff” (Last.fm, Netflix, Windows Media Center syncing… you know, stuff), I’m also quickly reminded that while the Xbox 360 is the superior console in every measurable sense… I still love the original Xbox more.
Below I’ve listed several reasons why I think the Xbox is flat-out better than the Xbox 360. I AM NOT ARGUING TECHNICAL SUPERIORITY. It doesn’t matter how much Michael Collins I have in my system, I will never be dumb enough to say the Xbox is superior to the Xbox 360. The 360 has the superior library of games, a superior online service and, as I said before, offers a hell of a lot more “stuff” than the Xbox.
But just because something is technically superior than something else doesn’t mean that it’s “better”.
Xbox is a Beast, Xbox 360 is Shaped Suspiciously Like a Maxi Pad
Anybody who wants to argue this point will wind up in a puddle of liquid failure which tastes like warm Grapefruit Juice. The original Xbox was built like a tank. It was big. It was bulky. It was heavy as hell and could fuck your day if an earthquake or the bass from your Quiet Riot album knocked it off a shelf — but more on that later.
The Xbox 360, on the other hand, looks like it’s built for maximum absorbency. It tries to be slim, but fails. It has a very unimpressive, minimalist outer shell which is just boring — especially when it sits next to the original black and green death machine. But you know what the worst thing about the Xbox 360 design is? It’s white.
Yeah, yeah, it also comes in black now — but it launched as a white console and that’s good enough for me.
I can’t stand video game consoles that are white (or gray, for that matter). For starters, I thought we learned from the Super Nintendo about why lighter-colored video game consoles don’t work — they never stay the same color! How many of you people reading this right now have a SNES that’s turned that nasty, dried vomit-brown? I’ve started to see first generation PlayStations (PSX) start to turn to that city water tinting, for Christ sake.
You’ll never see an Xbox go through plastic vitiligo.
No, your Xbox will sit proudly on the 3/4ths of the shelf that the beast occupies. Oh yes, it’s still on your shelf, too, isn’t it? Hell, you’re afraid to pick the damn thing up, aren’t you? Hey, I don’t blame you — I’m scared too. Any object that can be dropped from thigh-level and still break every bone in your foot should be both respected and feared.
Because if you fuck up, Xbox will fuck you up.
Manly Controllers for Manly Hands
If the Xbox 360 is your first experience with a Microsoft console, know this: The current controller is a slightly modified version of the Controller S that, eventually, was packaged with the Xbox. It’s small, easy to fit into your hands and, for all intents and purposes, is a well designed piece of equipment.
The original Xbox controller, on the other hand, was designed for Lumberjacks and Deep Sea Fishermen; manly men with manly hands which they used to do manly things like strangling brown bears and reminding their wives why they should start dinner at 3:40pm instead of 4pm when they get home. Hell, the controller was even codenamed “Duke”, which is the manliest name a man can hope to have (next to “Roll Fizzlebeef“). Eventually crybaby mortals were able to bitch long and loud enough for Microsoft to replace this glorious controller with a smaller controller, called Controller S.
“S” for “Sissy”, maybe. I still use Duke — so what if I can’t throw grenades because I can’t press the black button.
Plays ALL Xbox Games
The Xbox 360’s backwards compatibility is a ruse, a clever sham — an outright lie, I would go so far to say. As it stands the Xbox 360 only runs about half of the Xbox library and yes, while these games technically run on the Xbox 360, good luck playing them. Most of the games suffer from framerate issues, audio or graphical glitches, or out and out crashes.
Additionally, I don’t think a system can say it has backwards compatibility unless a minimum of 90% of the previous console’s games can run on the damn thing. Also, on a personal note: I liked Deus Ex 2 to want to play it. Again.
The Dashboard Was Bad Ass
I’ve never been a fan of the Xbox 360 dashboard. The first one was a little too convoluted to navigate efficiently. Now we have NXE, which is just… I’m not a fan. There. Yeah, it has some cool features but it all seems way too family friendly with the pastel coloring and that damnable Mii Avatar looking into your soul with it’s judgmental, empty eyes. It’s trying to do too much, frankly. I long for the days where all you had to deal with was your system settings, internet connection and deciding whether or not the console would boot to the dashboard or begin playing the game right away.
You know, like the freakin’ XBOX (and Dreamcast). The original Xbox dashboard was the pinnacle of both ease of use and badass appearance. The black and green was easy on the eyes and looked bitchin’. Additionally, you only had four options you had to deal with:
- Memory
- Music
- Settings
- Xbox LIVE
You would have to be some kind of stupid to not be able to figure that out.
And one more advantage the Xbox has over the 360? Brand recognition. Yeah, the Xbox 360 logo is on the NXE dashboard, but it’s tiny and in the lower right-hand corner. You have to actually look for that little bastard. With Xbox, you never had that problem because the Xbox X logo took up the entire left half of your fucking screen!
Seemingly Unlimited Memory
By today’s standards, the Xbox’s meager 10GB hard drive doesn’t sound like a whole hell of a lot. But you show me one person who filled that hard drive and I’ll show you somebody who ripped way too much music to their console. I’ve had my Xbox since November 2002 and my system STILL reads “50000+ Blocks Available”.
It’s enough to spoil you. Now you have systems like the Xbox 360 and PS3 with massive hard drives and people are STILL having problems managing their space.
Inline Release “Warning”
I’m going to be honest: this entire feature was contrived for the sole purpose of being able to share this with you people. Let me quote from page 7 of the Xbox Instruction Manual:
Inline Release
Each Xbox controller cord has an inline release. This is a safety feature designed to reduce the chance of the Xbox console falling when the cord is pulled. If the Xbox console falls and hits someone, especially a small child, it could cause serious injury. To reduce the risk of such injuries or of damage to the Xbox console, it is important to properly use the Xbox controllers and the inline release.
Translation: “Hey, if we didn’t include a break-away controller this behemoth could fall on your child and KILL THEM!”
Now I ask you: How many other video game consoles can say that they could potentially have a body count attached to them? You think the Xbox 360 is killin’ kids? Hell no! At best the 360 may make your kid cry when the Red Ring of Death claims another console before it’s time. Which leads me to my final point…
Xbox is Immortal
After several tests and going seven years without hearing a single story of an Xbox dying, I have come to the ultra-scientific conclusion that the original Microsoft Xbox is made out of Furbys and powered by the innocent souls of orphans. I guess when you have an inch-thick bulletproof outer shell that protects the gooey innards of Cerebro, a few raging fanboys aren’t much of a problem.
A far cry from the reported 68% failure rate of the Xbox 360, don’t you think?
End of an Era
To me the Xbox signifies the end of an era in video games, as it was the last of the true gaming systems. Yes, the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 are both designed with gaming in mind, but you could make a reasonable, logical argument that both platforms are multimedia devices that just happen to also play games.
The Xbox? It stands alongside the GameCube, PlayStation 2 and Dreamcast as being the last of the true gaming consoles. Yes, they might have played DVDs and music, but when people bought them they were buying a video game machine that, in a pinch, could stand in for a DVD player. The Xbox and other consoles of the last generation were video game systems meant to sit beside the DVD and VHS players of the day. Now people are buying 360s and especially PS3s to replace the DVD player.
And while it’s the natural progression of home entertainment, it’s still kind of depressing. At least, from my standpoint.
Go on, people. Tell me why I’m wrong.
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Seven years without hearing about an Xbox dying? That’s a miracle of itself, the optical drives on the first shipment were rather notorious. I heard of very few launch Xbox’s that were still functional even a couple years after launch. Mine in particular crapped out during a playthrough of KOTOR, and each loading screen became a crossed fingers moment that it wouldn’t lock up and I’d have to reload. I actually ended up playing through most of the game this way, saving before and after ever loading screen. Not sure if this was because I loved the game, or because I was just an obsessive 15-16 year old =P Eventually ended up sending it in for repair when I finally got an error message on the screen and the Xbox wouldn’t do a thing at all, though I probably could have just replaced the drive myself.
Holy cow, dude! This is so stinking funny! I read your tweet about how the Xbox was better – and I thought, “This guy is daft!”
But the moment I got on here are read the “beast vs. maxi pad” I started lol-ing.
Cheers!
OMG! Dude, I love you. I thought I was the only one who loved the Xbox. I have the same feelings for pretty much everything you said, especially the memory thing and the dashboard design. Great Article
You. Fucking. Rule. Epic as hell entry man! And, who says all true believers have died out. I’ll admitt I do want the damn 360 for it’s incredible graphics[and potential Kingdom Hearts lineage], but, hell, who doesn’t love an original? I love it to death even when it sometimes locks up on my games and makes me sulk for a day or two. It is a beast, a beast that fucks with my very mind and soul making me beg that it won’t lock up in action timed battles and epic loading scenes[they're epic because in big bold letters, how can you deny that that shit is LOADING?]. Still, lots of haters gonna chew you up no doubt~
As my parting gift I leave you with a fad of YTMND; like they say…
“PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GOD’S SAKE!!”
[or "Punch God For Cheese-Cake!" .... whichever you prefer :3]
This was brilliant!!! Prime example, I sold my 360 with 120 gb HD with working DVD drive and kept my Xbox that the DVD drive had packed up. Just because I knew that most of the games I wanted to play wouldn’t play on a 260 (i.e. Metal Slug 3). Plus, with XBMC, it functions 10x times better than the new 360 dashboard and I can still “install” my games to the HD, which is not some proprietary hardware that costs double what a similar HD goes for. In short, Xbox FTW!
Owning a lott of gameconsoles like ps1 , 5 xboxs and 3 360 and much more.
Xbox1 RULEZZ, only dead xboxs because I wanted a softmod… They all work… after repairs or not. 2 dead 360s.. real dead… 2 dead ps1s … real dead, mobo broke.
xbox disk reading failures… replace,clean or just reboot.
xbox360 hdd space… no solution… need 1 TB or more
ps3 … Its a BBQ thx to bad cooling…
wii… Small, easy, hacked … but a few cool games
Ltrszz, XBOX1 still rulezz the world
Just wanted to point out that the Xbox 360 controller also has the Inline release thing.
My original Xbox somehow tragically got a RROD and I strongly suspect it was due to entering the correct date in 2008 as apparently Zunes also crashed due to a fault linked with it being a leap year. I lost a lot of memories but a replacement meant I experienced games I probably would never have played. With the PS2 still receiving support, I refuse to consider a 360 simply because they killed the Xbox off way too early. Games like Riddick and Half Life prove that it had so much life left in it.
Yep gotta agree I bought my xbeast months after it came out and it’s still going strong, can’t say the same for the multiple 360 paperweights gathering dust in the corner.
Guess that’s what happens when software companies build hardware.
Im not sure about wired controllers (who uses them nowadays) but for the 360 wareless controllers , its pretty easy to unplug the play N charge
The xbeast the KING of all systems
My gamertag is jbourne123 add me
i think the original xbox had better hardware. the xbox 360 has better games and grpahics but the hardware sucks. the original xbox hardware almost never fails unlike the 360 wich almost has a 100% failure rate. yeah i thought the original xbox dashboard was badass. i love my original xbox, i will never buy a 360, and plus alot of people still play xbox live on the original xbox. my xbox was the first xbox to come out. my system was manufatured 8 days after the first commercials for the xbox started airing, my xbox has never failed on me and it rocks! by the way i comapred the original xbox and the 360’s specs and they are not to far off. like the original xbox graphics processes 125 million polygons per sec while the 360 did 500 million per sec.as you can see their graphics are not to far off.
HI All,
Just wanted to throw a hand in the air to say I’m still using my XBox!!!!! : )))
Modded of course!!! 250Gig Laptop HDD in the beast trimmed the fat a little took out DVD drive and created a new bios to NOT look for the DVD drive e.t.c. I now have a SLIM xbox which is the the same thickness of the 360!! But looks cooler due to my new fan cooling system with built in Blue LED’s (Yeh I know bit over the top..but hey!)
I Play the game’s direclty off the HDD which is….well….Great!!
XBMC runs like a dream and is used as an On-Demand video and music player accross the home network with a 1TB NAS storage also on the network.
Cant think of what else…oh yes Emulators OMG I had wanted to play the Original G Police for years and now I can and with the XBOX Controller and pcsx!!!! Shame about Goldeneye but I can play that flawlessly on my PC which I have to use to play Fallout 3 Anyway.
This thing is still playable today me and my buddies still play Forza 1as it had to be easily be the best Racing sim released on the platform and I’m still only on Level 32 (Had to start over when I fitted me new drive…dont ask!!) still it’s a good excuse to get gaming when Im supposed to be doing something else!!!
I would never limit myself again to another console unless the thing was an absolute killer machine(I.e Better Graphics than PC at the time of release, at least a 500 Gig HDD none of this wishy washy buisness of charhing you a £120 Squid just for 20 or a 40 Gig just because it’s pre-formated in a special way. Nice Dash/Interface Dont just employ the people behind some of the Original Xbox dashes and rehash them and hope it takes off cuz it wont and we have seen it has’nt!!! (NXE)
Give coders and programers the freedom to mod your console (Like the PS3 althogh admitidly they wont ever condone it…wink wink) SONY can at least see the potential of there console and so far have not locked it down as you would expect, and given it’s a JAVA based interface I can see LOT and LOTS of potential..I just hope someone exploits it and shows the 360 up for it is. a bit passed it’s time!!!
Anyhow gota go apologies for the rant.
Hazedaze
You are my man! Xbox 1 all the way. I’ve got 6 of them in the room, all with DuoX2 just in case everything is 100%… Most of them being 1.6 latest revision with super cool operation. No RRoD of course whatsoever… the only problem with Xbox was in the initial days some demo units produced errors. Imagine you want to make a LAN party – how easy with Xbox! No messing with anything. Good and WORKING D-PAD on Controller S, no batteries no charge kits, huge strong plugs, it is very easy to connect the controller even with your eyes closed… Xbox 360 is just not the next gen system. It has EDRAM which makes its graphics look a bit cooler… but to be honest… it is not a major step forward from Xbox1… the framerate ghot worse in X360 games, and actually many technical top class games from Xbox like Moto GP from Climax got only worse when ported to Xbox 360…. As for the actual playability, rock solid framerates… Xbox owns Xcrap 360 all the way… and those Halo datadiscs coming up today? Only a omplete asshole would spend any money on shit like ODST. Xbox ROX!!! Since 2001 and still going strong!!!
MAN I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO HAVE XBOX BUT I THOUGHT ME AND MY FRIEND WAS THE ONLY ON. I LOVE XBOX BBUTT MY XBOX IS NOT WORKING SO I BUST IT SOO BAD FUCK U MY XBOX I USED TO LOVE U BUT NO I DONT CAUS U DONT WORK AND FUCK XBOX360 WICH MOST PEOPLE HAVE
I HEAR YA DAWG, THINGS ARE TUFF ALL AROUND.
while surfing i came across this and i must say that i agree 100% i have both a 360 and 2 original xboxs one however experienced severe shock and killed the hdd the other has been modded with an 80gb hdd anyways the 360 is nice but nothing beats the old systems and im happy that you included the dreamcast in this a nit as well, mine has been through total hell dropped, kicked, and thrown and just like the big black xbox still runs with no problems or errors to be seen
forgot to add for any of those people out there against the 360 the only reson i have mine is not because i bought it but because it was givin to me due to the obviouse RROD luckily a friend of mine showed me how to fix it
My Xbox recently just simply died. I refuse to get a 360. I still am keeping my xbox. Heres the prob: it refuses to open the disc drive, won’t show a picture on the screen, and makes 4 jamming noises. I dont want to unscrew it all or anything, I just need a very simple fix. Anyone have it? Please reply.
What I mean is no screwdrivers unless it is real easy! But sorry to you people, I have owned a 360 for a year but then it melted down and shattered somehow?!?! I might be forced to buy a 360 unless you tell me how to fix the stupid Xbox!
I am so mad because I can’t play Mechassasault, the platinum hit? really, microsoft? ITS A FREAKIN PLATINUM HIT!
The xbox works if you are very patient with it. which is about1%of the time anyone have any help
YES! My only argument would be that you don’t know how right you are! Great piece.
I bought an xbox nine years ago and it just recently died. This article made me realize that there are other people out there who understand the thought process of people who grew up in the 80’s (although I have no idea what generation you are from). I went through an Atari (which is still in operation though it is in my closet), Atari 3600, coleco vision, nintendo, super nintendo, playstation, and xbox. Now I need an associates degree to understand what I am buying in a 360 or PS3. I can’t even make an informed decision about what to get my 8 year old son. I went to HH Greg and Best Buy today and started the deal on a 50″ Samsung plasma TV. I was ashamed to be paying $950 for a TV but felt the time had come. Then as I was finalizing the paperwork, the guy told me I would need an HDMI cable ($100) to hook up the Bluray player that was thrown in for free and a second HDMI cable (another $100) to hook up a 360 I was going to purchase. That’s when I lost it. I thought it was bad when a game system didn’t come with 2 controllers. I just told him to keep his xbox 360 (one of three models that I really didn’t understand or want to take the time to understand the difference between), two $100 cables, and $950 television and walked out the door. There was a time when people wouldn’t buy this shit when it couldn’t be supported by what you had when you walked out the door. Our world has lost its mind. I want a game system that will allow me to play all of its games all of the time, look good on my TV without buying anything else, and just come with everything I need but the games. I’m going to play Atari tonight and show my son what he’s been missing all these years.
I dropped my original xbox off the roof. Killed our cat too. So i bring it inside and it still works. My dog ate through the power cord and shocked himself. Duct tape fixed it though. I have it in this steel case that looks awesome. To prove a point, i drove a car over it. While having my friend play it. It. Rules.
I have my xbox sice 2001, and it just died today ;W;
it fought like a viking for over 9 years of almost daily playing.
its sad, specially because all the memories and it was the console that introduced me to gaming. I grew up with that thing. I still played to the day on my xbox, games like DOA3 and KOTOR2
goodbye xbox <3
the original xbox is a steal, most consoles in 2010 go for $40?!?!!? games about $5,but what is coolest of the original xbox is simple:
with the right av cable it can do HD VIDEO!!!! 480p 720p and 1080i
also with right cable it can do:
digital 5.1 dolby surround via optical digital cable
to me its as close to a 360 for a reasonable price (about the price of one 360 game, hahahah deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good article! Althogh I own an Xbox 360 I would like to get the original. Cool dashboard btw.