The other day, I powered up my PlayStation 3 and noticed something rather peculiar. Located directly above the PlayStation Store icon on the XMB was an emblem representing an intense, repressed hatred I felt some five months ago. Seeing it sent chills up my spine. It evoked veiled feelings of apathy and boredom that had eaten away at my very soul. Feelings that had corroded my mind and tarnished my faith in the PlayStation brand.
It was the icon for the PlayStation Home Beta.
Why the hell hadn’t I deleted this thing?
Maybe it was the insatiable hope that the PlayStation Home Beta would someday actually provide me with an entertaining experience. A smile, a laugh—anything really.
Or maybe it just took so damn long to install the thing and all its updates that I couldn’t stand to flush all that time down the shitter.
So I gave it another shot—three, actually—in hopes that the time since I’d last visited Home allowed it to flourish into the virtual garden of socialization Sony promised it would be.
But before I go any further, let me first say this: I. win.
Please refer to this linked image for clarification.
Sure, there’s more to do…
but there’s still NOTHING TO DO.
The lack of entertaining games in the arcade makes me want to hang myself with piano wire. Instead of offering a variety of PSN demos in the arcade (like they did with Echochrome), Homies (I just came up with that just now—har har!) are offered games such as a shitty Alleyway/Breakout/Arkanoid remake called Icebreaker (complete with penguins) and a bland puzzle game titled Carriage Return.
While bowling is tolerable, it’s still far from worth the extensive wait one must endure to get a lane. Heck, to play Icbreaker, I practically had to race another player to the damn machine so I could use it since Home still limits the games to one player at a time.
All in all, the arcade is useless.
I must give props to the Red Bull locale, however. Here, players are offered an interesting “fly through the ring” style game which, as basic as it is, plays quite well. Still, the lack of a barrel roll option kind of irks me, and it becomes monotonous after a while.
Which brings me to my next point: why would someone wish to waste his time waiting for Home to load, install, boot up, connect, bake a cake, or whatever it does when he can simply turn to the internet and play better versions of these games for free, without the hassle of strenuous load times?
The most fun I had in Home was rearranging my furniture into some sort of abstract tower, and then seeing if it would let me sit on it.
Booting games through Home…
is FUCKING POINTLESS.
While exploring the Resident Evil 5 locale, I stumbled across a man fumbling about an arcade machine with Sheva and the RE5 insignia on the side. The screen on the arcade machine read BioHazard 5, and the text above the man’s head read something to this effect:
“What the hell do I do with this damn thing?”
So I figured I’d give it a go. Sure enough, I was presented with a screen demanding that I insert a RE5 game disc. Fortunately I had one, so popped it in. Lo and behold, it booted up the game.
Now will someone please explain to me why on earth I would want to spend all this time wading through Home and its plethora of load screens just to boot up RE5 (or any game)?
Even more obnoxious is the option to return to Home when you’re finished playing the game—something I would never wish to do. It’s a long, arduous process that takes at least four times as long as it does to return to the XMB.
The Hub, while it has potential…
didn’t really work for me.
I’ll admit I was semi-excited to visit Home’s newly included Xi feature, a room called “the Hub” that was intended for Alpha testers of the game but has been opened to Beta users.
Despite the annoying voices and their cheesy dialogue, I found this portion kind of fun—well, the part I was able to play, anyway.
At first, I was told I needed to be initiated into the Hub before I could do anything.
Okay, so I have to find these three pieces of a note scattered about the room? No problem.
Okay, so now I have to go to one of those computers on that balcony there and complete some puzzle on your website? I’m there.
Okay, so now the network crashed. Let’s try again.
Okay, so now the network crashed for a second time.
This happened a few more times, and I really got tired of waiting for Home to reboot just so I could watch it disconnect again. I hear there are some neat things in the Hub, so it’s a shame I never got to explore them. Maybe this was a one time occurrence and doesn’t happen every day. Still, to someone already annoyed with Home, stuff like this doesn’t make it any easier to warm to.
Hey, remember all that crap you downloaded?
You have to download it AGAIN.
I glad that Sony is regularly updating Home, but how many times will I have to download the Central Plaza or the Arcade before I can explore them without interruption?
Not to mention this is going to clog up my hard drive. Yeah, it’s got 80 gigs of memory, but when each disc-based game takes a four gig install, that space goes quick. I don’t want to waste it, or any more of my time, letting Home taint its gaming goodness.
And yes, I know each install is only a few megabytes, but I don’t wanna hear it. That stuff adds up.
It’s impossible to take the socialization aspect of Home seriously…
because of stuff like this.
Here it is people, your moment of zen:
“I named my weener [sic] alvin.”
Which is pretty much why you can’t talk to anybody in Home. Of course, you also have to remember that you’re not even really meeting the people you meet. They’re represented by avatars that correspond to the way they wish to be perceived in a digital universe. In short, you have no idea who you’re talking to.
It’s different on other networking platforms. Typically you’re presented with a bio—sometimes even a photo—before you are forced to decide whom you interact with. With Home, it’s a grab bag. While I’m sure there are millions of decent folk roaming the streets of Home, is it really worth dealing with all the creeps?
You still can’t jump…
and I want to jump, damn it!
I want to be able to do more with a bench than sit on it. I want to do more with the fountains than just stare at them. I’m sick of feeling trapped within the invisible walls of Home.
It’s like it’s a prison.
People have argued that because Home is free, nobody has a right to complain about it. But hey, prison food and those snappy, orange jumpsuits worn by prison inmates are free too. But that doesn’t make prison some glorious fantasy land, and I don’t see people defending prison life as some fantastic novelty that should be appreciated by those who live it.
Fortunately, players have found a glitch to exploit the boundaries of Home, allowing them to dance on the banisters and even venture past them in certain locales. For those looking to learn more about this “rail glitch” in hopes of expanding your experience with Home, please follow this link.
You know all those flashy items for sale in the Mall?
There’s STILL no reason to buy that crap.
Oddly enough, many of the stores are empty or offer only a handful of items for sale. Others are chock full of crappy merchandise to adorn your avatar with, ranging from eye-patches to SFIV character costumes.
Now, here is where I am completely baffled. For the cost of the complete set of accessories to make your character look like Street Fighter’s Blanka, you could instead opt to buy a PSOne classic for a dollar more. That’s right—one dollar.
But instead of investing in something that will provide hours of quality entertainment, offering loads of replay value while tickling nostalgia, people foolishly support the notion of paying real money for fake clothing and accessories. It costs Sony next to nothing to develop that stuff, so really, it’s all profit. You’re getting gypped, people.
“But Perry, Sony has to make money somehow!”
Oh, sure, but that’s why Home is flooded with advertisements. This brings me to my next topic.
Home is a wretched vampire…
it’s nothing but a bundle of ads and stores to suck your wallet dry of its remaining ounces of fliff.
Home has been developed to get you—the consumer—to buy stuff you don’t need, plain and simple.
I don’t need a fake eye-patch that costs fifty cents when I can buy one at a store for a buck and look badass for reals. I don’t need a fake house that I can’t even invite my friends to visit. Home is nothing more than a marketing tool, and I don’t really need any more of that in my life.
The Final Verdict
I had hopes for the PlayStation Home Beta. Hell, I had hopes for Home in general. Early on, I thought this could be kind of cool, but as I explore it more and more all it does is sicken me. Instead of joy, I find myself filled with dread and contempt at the sheer thought of it. Whenever I play Home, I feel as though I’m staring into a broken lava lamp full of steaming shit—and Home stinks just as bad.
I’m pretty disappointed with Sony’s insistence that people will buy into this product (which they apparently are), especially since it’s more of an interactive advertisement than anything. It’s bland, boring, and though I see potential, I don’t see that potential being exploited. The closest thing I’ve experienced so far is the Hub, and that crashed during my initiation (four times, mind you).
Personally, I’d like Home to develop some games that are more socially apt. Games like hide-and-seek, tag, and the beloved hybrid, manhunt, would be excellent in this sort of atmosphere. But instead of innovation, we’re offered a bunch of crap already have.
Some people who read this article will argue “Man, you’re stupid. If you don’t like it, then don’t play it, stupid. Duh—you’re so stupid.”
And to those people, I have this to say: “I won’t.”
I don’t want to play it. It’s a waste of time. If I want to meet people, I’ll go out and meet them in person. If I want to find random people who will play games online with me, I’ll search the internet. It’s much faster, and it’s a hell of a lot more fun.
All in all, the Home Beta sucks. It sucks as a game, and if you’re set on being politically correct, it sucks as a “social networking platform” too. It’s as simple as that.
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Congratulations, you completely missed the point of Home just like many other journalists out there!
YOU ARE WINNAR!
You jackass, there is no point to home its just a pile of shit.
Go fuck yourself dude. You do not have to download it if you hate it so much.
Go suck on Microsoft’s fat dick if you don’t like PSN and the free services it’s offering.
play station home beta needs more colorful shorts !! they got all them dam shirts …but 1 pair of shorts !! ( NEED) more of a variety if you ask me .
i agree home is a piece of shit and how long did it take the first time you started it up omfg and then you have to sit there and download each place wat a waste of fucking time.i havent deleted my home icon either having hopes that maybe one day it will be good.
LOL better then trying to find good games to play for the wii or xbox 360 thsi year, i much rather spend my time on Home which is a revolution in gaming.
Home is not a revolution. It’s a watered down Second Life without the flying penises.
IT’S A SOCIALIZING NETWORK DUMBASS.
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT FROM IT, A $60.00 VIDEOGAME?
What the fuck man. If you don’t like Home, don’t download it. If you have it, delete it from your harddrive.
It’s that simple.
Yes, it IS a socializing network. A boring, poorly thought-out one that leaves you with little more than a bunch of generic-looking avatars dancing to a very limited selection of terrible songs.
What do I expect from a product that had been hyped for two years (and delayed countless times)? I expect it to actually allow “social networking”. I expect their giant, “revolutionary” game hub to actually be “revolutionary”. As it stands now, it’s… well, I already explained it — it’s a stripped down Second Life.
Oh, and I did delete it from my hard drive. My only wish is to be able to remove the damn Home icon because I sure as hell won’t be visiting again.
Then whats the point fucking idiot?
Socializing network? ROFLMAO did you even read the article?
What a fucking dipshit.
a social network requires that the individual havesome social skills. the writer of this article isan idiot and “gypped” is a racist term my friend
According to the dictionary, which is a document which holds the definitions for all words, “gypped” is a form of the word “gyp”, which means “A fraud or swindle”.
In other words: you’re a nitwit.
Well… the base word of gypped is gyp… which according to dictionary.com was probably derived from Gypsy. So… to all those Gypsies out there please muster up the motivation to actually give a shit because imsosmart said so!
Not only do the comments * and mainly responses to the comments * on this website look like a babbling 2 year old who just learned a few cuss words and “penises”, but seriously.. grow up. What people want in Home is meant to be posted on SONY’s FORUMS. Not here! This is just babbling fanboy media shit. Your not getting your thoughts out by doing this. Your providing more controversy and feeding into more fanboy wars like a dumbass * AKA most publishers on the internet *. Find something worth posting or don’t post at all. Oh, and the point of Home is to chat… plain and simple… if you don’t have friends, it’s not for you… so suck it up and move on!
I think xi has been ace,when mission 3 was getting worked out on EU forums there was a crazy buzz.Knowing home users were working out the locations then physically going to these places to solve the answers gave a feeling I’ve never experienced before on any console,and that was only possible in home,not my 360 or my Wii but only on Ps3 and it took the word community to whole new level.
I think it’s only the begging and i’ve always said I’ll judge home after 12 months,if xi is the high point and nothing else changes then fuck it,but as of now it’s fine.
What I want in home.
After testing out the vid streaming system in the EU theatre,I would love a netflix type streaming system,hell I think it would be ace (and no surprise) to see the watchmen movie be a test bed for this,if they charged a £1-£1.50 for a ticket I know i’d try it out,provided they give some extra “merchandise” with it.
Game launching needs to be mandatory before christmas.
More spaces,more spaces that are games,you could make a 3rd person shooter because it’s flexible enough to allow it.
HOME IS AMAZING
My god, what a bunch of freakin morons!! You must have soggy bread for brains, if you can’t see what an incredible application Home is – then I’m sorry but you don’t deserve to live in these times.
The technical masterpiece that Sony have created is remarkable. In just a few months you will be eating your xbot words.
Get a grip, you clearly have at least one xbox uo your asses.
Wow! Really? And since when do we have to be Xbox fanboys to NOT like Home? Though it’s funny… Xbox fanboys don’t go blaming PS3 fanboys for any of the 360’s inadequacies. I tell ya, PS3 fanboys are the most sensitive loyalists ever.
THIS ARTICLE HURT MY FEELINGS! :[
Yeah w/e you voodoo, have fun dancing around that bubble machine by yourself and looking at ads ROFL.
I never thought i’d see HOME fanboys but I did, Jesus fucking Christ…
Lol home fucking blows. i have more fun looking at the damn XMB.
To the author:
Though I am a staunch supporter of Sony and the PlayStation, I find merit in your article. If people look past the occasional crude language and blunt tones, they’ll realize you speak many truths. You raise a whole lot of valid points that I feel as well, whenever I “play” HOME. Though I don’t share your frustrations to your extent (I’m surprised it compelled you to write about it, ’cause this must have taken you a while), I certainly agree that one has to question what HOME really is about.
It’s sort of like a floundering fish out of the water. It’s flopping here and there, not entirely sure how to handle itself and confused.
Place to socialize and meet other PS3 gamers? Yes.
Easy interface and voice chat system to do so? No.
Ability to customize your experience and designs? Yes.
Products worthy of their $2.99 price? Hell no.
Your points on not being able to jump and the lame idea of game launching from HOME are also valid.
I still have hopes for it but yeah, HOME can be pretty lame.
I love the replies some of you people write. I guess anyone who doesn’t bow down to Sony and think all they do is strive for what they think is best for us are all Xbots. Unless we gleefully dance not just in Home but on street sidewalks with PS3 banners on our chests we are all Xbots.
I agree with the article (must be an xbot). I tried Home a half a dozen times now to see if it has gotten better each time. It’s still a clusterfuck to get going with all the downloads. I just keep asking myself once it loads, why am I even here? I have more fun waiting in an actual game lobby. At least then I know I will be having a good time in a matter of minutes.
Home will be in a open Beta forever. That way they can say it’s just a Beta.
i like his knowledge. “My ps3 has 80gb of memory”… hmmm u mean hard drive space retard haha
Another idiot who calls himself an journalist. Standard fare this generation. Now if this was on another console this blowhard would be singing it’s praises.
this is the perfect place for him to let out steam, i pretty much said the same shit he did in the home forum about home and got banned from the forum, they can stop me from talking trash about home but they will still take my money, fucking money hungry basterds, that’s what i hate about sony, the fuckers can’t take criticism at all, can’t bad mouth one of their products or you will get banned, but i’m sure they will never ban anyone from buying shit from them. fuck you sony!!!!
Really now, why do we need someone to tell us not to waste our time in something free that we could easily try ourselves to make our own decision? I personally enjoy Home.
Home, for all its worth (free!) is boring. However, when you think about it, it would be a replacement for Sony’s front end for gaming(i.e. XMB) What would happen if you cut you system on and you were in “Home”? This is why it’s a beta, not final b/c it is a test for what will be the front end interface for PS4. There will be no loading between places. The arcade will be fully fleshed out/w demos on demand with no install. This will also be the idea in the theater. The game specific areas are for publishers to show their games specifically. Think about an EA Sports, if their area had a home run derby or a qb or 3 point challenge w/prizes. The potential for this would spread to other areas. I could go on and on. So while this article is correct in so many areas, like the dancing with the bubble machine(lol!), the current home is just a test for Sony to analyze data and collect numbers (i.e. how many people will actually buy fake clothes for real money!) The final build will be on PS4 and will blow your socks off.
Hmm, pay for avatars…Or not pay for Home…?
This article=fail.
Judging a free (beta) service, that is better than avatars.
You, my friend fail.
Ok, Xi impressed me. I was waiting for something like that.
So I see potential; quite a bit. It needs work, and quite a bit of that as well. The only real mistake I think Sony made with Home was telling us about it too early…a common problem with them, and one that I hope they’ll address in the future.
If you tell me you’re testing a new product that will be released for public feedback soon, you better be ready for a full release shortly after. I play video games, I like to be entertained, and I have a very short attention span – so I’m not patient by any stretch of the imagination.
I really enjoy home, I think it is so much better then just text chatting or voice chatting, your interacting by playing pool and bowling and hanging out. It will only get better with the addition of the EA sports arena and other such spaces. If you hate it so much get the fuck off it and don’t come back ….. please.
THAN! Not THEN!!!
Damn! Home should put some grammar lessons in it. But then again, an educated Sony Slave is a dangerous one.
Oh and Scott, he did say that he WON’T be in it again. Cause he HATES it. Didn’t you read the article? Oh wait… No you couldn’t. NEVER MIND!!!
Sadly i agree with Chris…
I understand your point completely sir.
I barely sign into that anymore. I’m more disappointed with the Home Theater. All these kick ass movies coming out this year and they choose to play the ‘Astro Boy’ trailer over and over again.
I always thought Home to be a huge advertisement pool though.
I agree HOME sucks. It’s one of those things that is kind of cool on the surface, but in reality it’s a waste of time.
I wish that (Home) could be more like Second Life at least Second Life give’s you pretty much full freedom to do whatever. I mean you can jump and even fly in Second Life and even build and create your own objects and use them as you see fit or sell them to others. I think if (Home) could be mor elike Second Life it would be so much better and $1.99 for a chair in (Home) is crazy you can buy a car or a mansion or a jet for that price in Second Life. (Home) has a long ways to go.
Well I think home is more like an interactive chatroom. also, psht.us is sorta like a myspace for home users. I have met alot of people on there and for the most part have seen there pictures and chatted with them on the ps eye toy. with that, there is no need for a pic or bio, you can actually webcam chat with them. As far as it being a socializing network, that is very true. I have a full friends list because of it and I have seen everyone of their faces and have spoken with them over my headset. You know, in private spaces u can chat freely. I agree home has a long way to go but it IS the future of gaming. Home will probably always be beta since it is being updated constantly. And you do have your fair share of weirdos on there just like in second life but their are options to report them and to ignore them so u cant see what they are typing.
Yes, Home sucks right now. I just got done trying it for the first time in a year, And it was just as bad as I remember. I think they know it is never going to work. What are people talking about, “Good for meeting people to play with” just go play the game online and you will meet people to play with. Home is effecivly usless, Pay $1.99 for a shirt, Why? If they want people to really get stuff they should let you use points from games you already paid for to buy things, Not real money. I feel the same way about xbox, It’s pointless to pay real money for fake clothes for an avatar. I don’t think they will ever make it worth our time. But even if they do it will take so long that the next system will already be out.
P.S. Don’t even say i’m a xbox fanboy or a wii fanboy, I have all three, The wii has almost no good games, The ps3 has very few people online and bad controllers, The xbox breaks and is almost usless if you don’t play omline games ALOT.
Thats just my take
How can anyone think Home is good, or revolutionary. It is all one big giant scam to get you to buy stuff. Why the hell would I pay a dollar for clothing in a shitty videogame? Anybody who has actaully done this is an idiot and does not deserve to have any monery. I waited TWO YEARS for a piece of garbage that allows you to do nothing. It’s been a couple of months and it still sucks.Look how much fun you can have: Enjoy multiple download times, get hit on by men and women, talk to freaks, pay money for fake stuff, walk around, watch ads for Sony stuff, dance to the two bad songs availiable, and play bowling. Very fun!
you guys are all nerds, go find something better to do…
…you talking to the other commenters or us? Because, uh… this kind of IS what we do.
JW NOTE: No need to be a racist douche about your distaste for Sony.
-JW
I would only pay that dollar for the ninja outfit if it let me take the sword out and kill every idiot in that stupid fake mall. The only good thing and fun I had with home was the Ratchet and Clank area….I like the song under the disco ball….everything else sucks.
home is ok i wish you can jump though and why are they selling clothes for like 1.99$ is sony not rich enough that they have to Fing sell vertual clothes?!?! they should at least lower the damn prices to maby 10 cents!! it only VERTUAL CLOTHES holy crap
personally i would have had it set so that u get points for buying a ps3 game which u can then use for an add on or anything in home that way sony and the games company both get the money and we dont have to pay loads for clothes
obviously the points would have to allow up to about 50 or 60 items on home just to make it fair maybe more
Why can’t you slug anyone on HOME, take their car, and start a criminal rampage?