Before I get into the meat of this piece, allow me a moment to apologize to Electronic Arts CEO John Riccitiello, who has been the unwitting recipient of my misdirected nerd rage for quite some time:

There. I feel better. Oh, sure, EA still won’t return my emails and I’m fairly certain I’ve been blacklisted for calling him a Sith Lord for the past 30 months, but all the same.

Anyways, onwards we go…

Activision’s CEO Bobby Kotick is the freakin’ devil. Oh, sure, I know that may sound a little extreme but it really is the only way to explain away his particular brand of douchebaggery.

Alright, fine. So it’s no secret that Kotick has been something of an ass for a long time now. This is due in large part to his business philosophy of turning Activision into the McDonald’s of video game publishing; releasing sequel after sequel after sequel to games that at one time may have been fun but now are little more than empty shells of their former selves: I refer to this as the “Tony Hawk’s Underground syndrome. Furthermore, when Activision isn’t trying to squeeze every ounce of water from the surprisingly moist rocks, they’re busy trying to cash in on every single God damn licensed property imaginable.

There is no denying it: Bobby Kotick has turned Activision into an empty, soulless shell of a video game company that has grown uninspired and unoriginal. Ironic, considering that’s what they were saying about Electronic Arts not too long ago.

Regardless, while Kotick has always been viewed at as little more than a shrill businessman, his actions over the past few weeks have shot him into the stratusphere of douchebaggery for which there is, sadly, little chance of retribution.

Brütal Legality

Yes, the Brütal Legend puns have begun.

Remember back when Activision bought Sierra Entertainment and gave the kibosh to a bunch of games? Remember how a few of those games were Ghostbusters: The Video Game and Brütal Legend? Well, after seeing the incredibly positive reaction to Brütal Legend coming out of E3, it seems that Kotick and Co. were regretting giving up their the new IP and are now playing the role of the scorned lover, shouting from the rooftops “If I Can’t Have You, NO ONE CAN!”

Activision, the company that let the game go and then tried to cockblock (allegedly) other publishers from so much as sniffing Jack Black’s locks of lucious hair, now claims that the property is still theirs to release. Nevermind that Activision is breaking the most sacred of all playground rules; EA picked up the publishing rights. If Activision’s deal wasn’t nullified when they kicked Double Fine to the curb, surely this would do it — or at least leave them (Activision) in a very actionable position.

To give EA and Tim Shafer credit, they’re taking the bogus lawsuit in stride. Back in February, Electronic Arts gave what is still considered (by me) to be the quote of the year regarding a potential Brütal Legend lawsuit:

We doubt that Activision would try to sue. That would be like a husband abandoning his family and then suing after his wife meets a better looking guy.

Shortly after the lawsuit was filed, Double Fine President and 1997 Skywalker Ranch Kickboxing Champion** Tim Shafer had this to say regarding Activision’s filing:

Hey, if Activision liked it, then they should have put a ring on it… Oh great, now Beyonce is going to sue me too.

Now, I’m sure that the guys at Activision are kicking themselves pretty damn hard for letting a game as anticipated as Brütal Legend go, but I would suggest they look on the bright side: After all, they still have WET… oh, wait…

With Activision going down this path with Brütal Legend, you almost have to wonder if they’ll try some similar tactics with other games that were let go. If WET becomes a big hit, will Activision try to claim publishing rights there as well? What about games that are already released, like The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena or Ghostbusters: The Video Game? Could Activision go banging on Atari’s door demanding royalties?

These questions sound absurd, but after suing a game developer in a fit of “seller’s remorse” angst, you can never really rule it out.

Empty Threats

Roughly a week later Kotick, feeling jaded by the almost complete dismissal of his lawsuit by Double Fine, Electronic Arts and anybody over the age if twelve, picked another unwinnable battle when he insinuated to The Times Online that Activision may pull support for the PlayStation 3 and PSP if Sony doesn’t drop prices on those two platforms.

I’m getting concerned about Sony; the PlayStation 3 is losing a bit of momentum and they don’t make it easy for me to support the platform. It’s expensive to develop for the console, and the Wii and the Xbox are just selling better. Games generate a better return on invested capital on the Xbox than on the PlayStation.

They have to cut the price, because if they don’t, the attach rates are likely to slow. If we are being realistic, we might have to stop supporting Sony…When we look at 2010 and 2011, we might want to consider if we support the console — and the PSP too.

Now if this were a developer (like, oh, VALVE) who was swearing to never work on a Sony platform, that would be completely absurd — but at least believable. But for the CEO of the world’s largest third-party publisher to threaten to pull all support for two platforms that have sold a combined 70 million units (worldwide)? That’s just freakin’ stupid — and here’s why:

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that Sony called Kotick out on his bluff. Kotick would be in an impossible position — if he gave in and didn’t act he would look weak. On the flip side, if he actually did pull Activision’s support for the PS3 and PSP, Activision’s shareholders would burn him in effigy. The massive shitstorm would rage on for a couple of weeks before Kotick would announce that he had decided to move on from Activision (to be with his family or explore other interests of whatever). A few days later, Activision would introduce their new CEO who would make it quite clear that he looks forward to working with all game platforms and console makers, especially Sony.

Sony knows this as well, which would explain why they completely ignored Kotick’s remarks and gushed about their E3 presentation when asked for a comment.

Which, admittedly, it was pretty awesome.

Devouring Games Souls

Okay, so the past few weeks have been pretty bad for ol’ Bobby. But that doesn’t make him the Great Satan, does it? No, no, no. For that we have to look at Activision’s recent history and a business model that has turned the company into something if a parody of itself.

Activision is making the same mistakes that Electronic Arts was making during the Larry Probst era. Remember that period between 2000-2006 where the company relied almost exclusively on licensed properties and Madden? If you’re having a hard time thinking back, fear not: I’ve taken way too much time out of my day to create a basic table showing some of the similarities between the Electronic Arts of the recent past and the Activision of today.

…if I wanted to be an ass, I’d have gone back and noted the ten Star Trek games they released…

I think the above speaks for itself, although you have to remember one very important thing: Electronic Arts cared about their reputation. Activision… not so much. BK has made it clear countless times that his primary concern (I dare say his only concern) is the company bottom line. This has made him a fine businessman and, yes, it has made Activision the largest third-party developer on Earth.

But just because you’re the biggest doesn’t mean you’re the best, now does it? Most certainly not. In Kotick’s desire to become the biggest, he’s allowed his company’s creativity to nosedive to where, instead of coming out with new and fresh properties, we’re given Spider-Man reskins (read: Prototype) and a dozen more Guitar Hero games.

All is Not Lost

Let’s keep this in mind: While Activision has for the most part turned into a cheap pimp, they still do offer some high-class squirrel. Call of Duty 4 is still one of the best shooters ever made and I do have hope for Guitar Hero: Van Halen. With that said a lot of what Activision is churning out is borderline-shovelware; rehashed game ideas that have already been beaten into the ground with a blunt instrument (ironically enough).

There are a few things Activision can do that, I think, will help restore some of their clout amongst gamers.

1.) Enough with the pack-in toys. When Guitar Hero was released with it’s plastic guitar controller, it was new and original. When Rock Band was released by EA and had the other instruments, it was… still new. Admittedly Rock Band developers Harmonix got a free pass because they also created Guitar Hero, but c’est la vie. Now you have DJ Hero coming out with a peripheral that, to say the least, looks less than thought out. But even the fake turntable pales in comparison to the Tony Hawk: Ride skateboard — the most blatantly gratuitous attempt to milk cash from a franchise that not too many people missed that I’ve ever seen.

2.) Not everything needs to have a sequel, let alone two or three or four or five or even six. The fact that Call of Duty 5 was called Call of Duty: World at War shows that even Activision is starting to realize that once you hit a certain number, it starts to look bad. It especially looks bad when, out of the eleven Call of Duty games that have been released (or announced), NINE of them take place during the time period between 1941 and 1945.

3.) Originality in games is a good thing and an increasingly precious commodity. Eventually Activision is going to have to hunker down and put serious effort into new game concepts instead of letting good ideas like, say, an action/platformer set in the mystical land of metal, slip through their greedy fingers.

4.) Bobby Kotick needs to actually play games. You would think that this would be common sense when talking about the CEO of the world’s largest third-party video game publisher, but as Larry Probst taught us not too long ago, not playing video games is bad. So somebody needs to sit Kotick down, hand him a controller, and force him to play through every single Activision game released since 1991. Oh yes. All of them. Everything from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 to Gods & Generals and Pimp My Ride. Afterwards maybe he’ll have a whole new appreciation for the quality of games sporting his company’s name.

Of course this is written with tongue firmly in cheek… sorta. While Activision is still able to churn out the occasional great game (read: Call of Duty 4), the company is approaching a crossroads where they will have to decide whether they either want to evolve and take the time to develop new and original IPs, or continue to rely on licensed properties and the mantra of “quantity over quality”.

With that said, I look forward to writing Mr. Kotick an apology letter sometime in 2012. Because “Karma” is a cheap, dirty prostitute.

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