I’m a terrible insomniac, and after you all have gone to sleep in your warm, comfy beds, I watch a lot of videos over at GameTrailers. Why? To bump up my GTD score, why else? Anyways, I was watching the ULTOR Trailer for Saints Row 2 when I noticed something:

Take a good look at the billboard on the far left portion of the image, at the white billboard. What could that be? Why, it’s a sign for the dreaded RED RING OF DEATH! What, you don’t believe me that it’s in there? You think I photoshopped it since I’m a shameless Sony fanboy? Okay, look for yourself in the video. Skip to the 1:02 mark.

Told ya. Now, considering that the game is coming to both the PS3 and Xbox 360, I’m curious as to whether or not Microsoft is going to kindly ask THQ to remove any reference to the RRoD.

But this begs the question: Is this a Pot Shot at Microsoft and their well documented history of hardware troubles? If you ask me, I’d have to think so — and a lot of 360 fanboys are going to take it that way, as well… which pleases me to no end.

By the way? The “Legal Document” that flashes rather quickly at the 1:20 mark reads, and I quote:

Well hello there! My name is Austin Sanderson. Sike. It’s actually Austin Handerson. Hand as in the hand I’m gonna use to smack the s h i_you know what out of you for reading this legal copy when you’re supposed to be watching this kick a** trailer. The room in which I’m typing this is hotter than blazes.

Don’t know how hot blazes are? Well clearly you’ve never been to Singapore. Blazes is about 130 parcepts hotter than the median temperature of the South Pacific during tha days of the Ol’ Cambodian Gold Rush. My anglo saxon grandmother would love spinning yarns about the ol’ Cambodian Gold Rush. But enough about my Grama Dukes. Let’s discuss you for a minute. Why are you reading this still? Why? This is truly upsetting. You out to be ashamed of yourself. Like I’m one to talk, I’m clockin’ major duckets for getting paid to write about your loser behavior. Point is… maybe we’re not so different, you and me. You watch video game trailers, and I make fun of you for it, while listening to Transylvanian Hip Hop or Persian Anthem Trance. You know what I’m talking about!!!!! I’ve got to fill some space here so let me copy & paste some random BS, and then I’ll be back to discuss how lame we are.

Tacoma Municipal Court,
Hello, my name is Austin Handerson and I am writing you in regards to a court date for which I will not be able to attend. Due to my residence in California I have already requested a change of date, but unfortunately the date I was given by the court is not a date, in which I will be in Tacoma. So I would like to reschedule again. I called in yesterday to check my court date, because I was not satisfied by the court and found out that the dates I requested were days in which the court would be closed. To make a long story short, I will not be able to attend my December 69 court date and would like to ask the court with the upmost respect and appreciation for an extension for the spring or summer. The week of the 187th of May would be a time where I will be in Tacoma and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to stand before the court sometime during that week. Thank you for your consideration and I hope I have not caused any trouble.
Thanks again,
Austin Handerson

That was a letter I wrote to the courts AKA The Man. Ya see… I’m always in trouble with the law. Probably because I’m so Fing gangster. Raised on the mean streets of the Tac. Baleeee dat! I started slangin’ yay straight out the womb ya know? The doctor who pullled a brother out was my first customer. It’s sad to see someone so successful, delivering babies, and saving lives daily fall into such a downward spiral due to the “white stuff.” You know what I’m talking about. But you can’t let these things bother you if you’re a thug. Your job is to ruin lives, and cause distruction to the community. Poisoning the minds of young children is central to your duties as a G. Remember that. I mean, if you’re gonna do it… Do it right. Which reminds me of one of my favorite songs… Never mind. I just had to pull that mug for legal reasons, so the next paragraph won’t make any sense at all. Well, the song I’m speaking of is a great one. Yo grout, that the Duke of Portugal (originator of the Portuguese Tuxedo), played at his wedding in 1993, roughly six years after it’s release? That speaks volumes, because it’s not in that realm of being a throwback track yet. It’s in that weird area where people know they like it, but pretend to hate it, because they’re embarassed. Like you. You should be embarassed for reading this ridiculous swill. So here’s the next paragraph that will make no sense now because of the slicing and dicing of the original, OG for short. Dope huh? You know you like that track. It’s probably one of the most danceable tracks ever created by mankind. I’ll throw that beast on at home, and get straight crunk with it. Vaccum the floor, do the dishes… you know, clean up around the crib, hit repeat on the stereo and have this monster i am blasting the whole whoe. The mailman drops off a letter that can I help but come in a dance on the ceiling like Lionel. Didn’t make any sense did it? Oh well. Still reading? Good god! You have no life. Buy this game. It’s really good. Really good. I mean… if you’re to lame to go out into the world and shoot people in the face, steal their car and run over an old woman, who probably deserves what she gets, because of things she’s done in her past… then you may as well go down to your local game store, and lay down the cash big baller. That’s you. I’m calling you a big baller. Are you really a big baller? The answer to that question, simply is, no. No you are not. So go buy the game, and pretend you’re a big baller. A big baller who has access to a rocket launcher, bazooka type deal called The Annihilator. Blow stuff up. Have a blast! Ha! Get it? Blast? Who’s the bigger loser now? The answer to that question is, me. Sike again! It’s still you. Bummer man.

I cannot believe I just typed all of that by pausing and playing a fucking trailer. Sigh. I need a Mountain Dew.

I pose a question to you, the reader: Are these kinds of tactics, whether it be poking fun at Microsoft’s hardware woes, or overly bored/sleepy writers or slapping its nearest rival Grand Theft Auto in the mouth with a comparison trailer, dooming Saints Row 2? Is it starting to turn into a parody of itself?

Popularity: unranked [?]