First of all, let me translate the title: Do you live in Finland? You can see the new Alan Wake trailer, too!

Yes, it’s true. If you live in Finland and are planning on checking out the new Marky Mark Mark Wahlberg flick, Max Payne (and you should).

There are so many things to get peeved about with this announcement. For starters, we’ve been hearing about this great project Remedy has been working on for, like, three or four years now. What have we gotten for our years of patience? A couple of CG trailers and a set of screenshots. Alan Wake has entered into Duke Nukem Forever territory, only without being as preposterous (and, unlike Duke, we think Remedy is actually working on it).

Secondly, why only Finland? I’ve been one of the biggest fans of Remedy Entertainment for over ten years. Hell, I took the time to hunt down a copy of Death Rally, for Christ sake, and now I get the shaft because I don’t live in Finland? C’mon, man! I understand that Finland is Remedy’s home turf, but that still tastes sour.

Thirdly, and most importantly… what if Max Payne sucks? I know, I know, that possibility is looking remote. But considering the long, storied history if video game movie failure, it should still be considered.

…wow, this entire post was nothing more than an excuse to write in broken Finnish. I hope I get a prize.

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