I’ve been quietly watching the whole Fat Princess debate (more reactions here, here, and here) since the game was first announced. In case you haven’t read about it yet, Fat Princess is a capture-the-flag type of game in which teams hunt down a rotund princess instead of a flag. It takes many members of your team to carry said fatty back to your base, and the other team tries to feed her more and more cake to make her harder to carry.
Of course, the fact that the game is about a fat girl (oh nos) is causing some people to turn into raging vaginas. It looks like it is about that time – you have to pick a side, and clearly the Fat Princess Feminist side is the way to go.
So, to help out, I’ve created a handy guide – do you have what it takes to be a Fat Princess Feminist?
1. Fat Princess Feminists don’t believe in science.
If you eat a lot of cake, you get fat. I mean, at least, that’s how I thought the world worked. I was under the impression that fat people are, in general, fat because they eat the wrong foods and don’t get a lot of exercise. As a Fat Princess Feminist, you need to hold on to the fact that a full 1-3% of fat people have gland problems and other medical conditions that directly cause obesity. OBESITY IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN CONTROL!
2. Fat Princess Feminists are ugly.
When it comes to being pretty, weight doesn’t matter. Attitude makes you ugly. There will always be ignorant people in the world, but the vast majority of guys out there hate the Fat Princess Feminist types because they’re ugly on the inside, not on the outside. As a Fat Princess Feminist, you have the push that notion aside and instead get defensive about your pudge. Start acting like the world is out to get you, and keep in mind that if a guy looks your way, he is definitely, in his mind, making fun of you for being fat.
3. Fat Princess Feminists make everything about “girl power.”
Repeat after me: All men are misogynistic pigs. If you want to be a Fat Princess Feminist, you need to make that your new mantra. After all, the fact that the obese character in this game is a girl was carefully planned to make fun of fat women everywhere.
4. Fat Princess Feminists can dish it out, but they can’t take it.
As a Fat Prince Feminist, you cannot be open to any comment that doesn’t agree with you. In fact, if people start pointing out any type of fault in your argument, shut down post comments IMMEDIATELY. You don’t need anyone to be negative when you’re calling people assholes.
5. Fat Princess Feminists believe they are representing women everywhere.
Clearly, your view is so right that other women are glad you stepped forward. Don’t let the fact that other feminists aren’t speaking up get you down. They’re probably just shy. The bottom line is that EVERY girl out there is offended by the term “fat.” You might as well be using a racial slur.
I, unfortunately, don’t make the cut as a Fat Princess Feminist. In fact, I’m inclined to think that if you’re offended by this game, you might have been dropped on your head as a child. But hey, if you want to cry about it and cut yourself, don’t let me stop you. In fact, here’s a razor. Enjoy yourself.
[Oh, and one slight update - the concept artist is female. Just FYI]
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I have to admit, I had never heard about this game until reading your post. I looked it up and OMG that looks like a fun game! Ha! People need to stop being offended over stuff that’s just plain fun.
well, I dont care what people say, Im still going to purchase this “fun” game. I dont see whats the big ordeal, its a video game, not a campaign against fat Bit***s.
I love how the google ad is showing bbwromance.com right now.
…I fucking hate Google.
You seem to have a lot of disgust for fat people, Allison. I mean, the way you present these pictures implies that they are disgusting and eminently mockable. I don’t think most fat people like to be called “fatty,” either.
I dunno, maybe instead of being a voice of reason (which it seems is how you are presenting yourself here) you are actually part of the problem.
Just something to think about.
This is exactly the problem. I’m not making fun of fat people. I’m making fun of these so-called “feminists” who think that because they are fat, they are victims about every damn thing in the world. People like that ARE mockable, whether they are fat are thin. Like I said, weight isn’t what makes you an ugly person. But I guess that you wouldn’t know that, because you just looked at the pictures? News flash – the pictures would make sense if you read my points.
And furthermore, I called the cartoon character, not a real person, a fatty. If you know anything about the game, you’d see the pictures of this cartoon character and know that she’s a caricature of a real person, even a morbidly obese person, at best. Real people don’t look like that, and even if you’re the most unhealthy person in the world, you don’t spend all of your time shoving cake in your mouth. So being offended that I called a cartoon character a fatty is laughable. AJ, my friend, I am not the one who is part of the problem.
If you say so, hon. Your points don’t really make sense. And I did read the original post, by the way. That’s why I was so appalled.
P.S. We’re not friends.
Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make sense.
P.S. That’s too bad, I wanted to have a sleepover and be BFF.
“I was under the impression that fat people are, in general, fat because they eat the wrong foods and don’t get a lot of exercise. As a Fat Princess Feminist, you need to hold on to the fact that a full 1-3% of fat people have gland problems and other medical conditions that directly cause obesity.”
A study by Rockefeller University found that fat people who lost tons of weight have metabolic states comparable to non-obese people who are starving to death. In addition, once they started their diets, they burned 24% fewer calories for every square meter of their surface area than naturally thin people. Almost all of the study participants returned to their starting weights shortly afterward.
Conversely, a study by the University of Vermont found that thin people who attempted to gain 20% to 25% of their total weight had to eat up to 10,000 calories a day to get there. Their metabolisms increased by 50%, and they needed more than 2,700 calories per square meter of their body surface to stay fat. Once the study was over they returned easily to their starting weights. (source: the Herald Tribune)
Basically, your genes determine whether or not you’re going to be thin much much more than what you eat or how much you exercise. One thing you can do to make it much more likely you’ll end up fat is dieting – it can make you both sicker and fatter (.pdf).
But that’s partially due to the sudden and dramatic shift in one’s diet when they, um… diet. The key isn’t so much in dieting than it is in eating generally healthy, well-balanced meals and exercising without overdoing it.
That’s how the Army did it for me, and that’s how I maintain my admittedly kick ass physique. :p
Promises, promises … where are the pictures to prove it??
Oh gosh. So I guess people have *suddenly evolved* in the past 20 years and it is our genes that are making us fat. That explains the obesity epidemic. It has NOTHING to do with poor diets, foods full of corn syrup and saturated fats and a lack of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. It is our rapid recent evolution of new bad genes? Ok gotha. I understand now.
Lies damn lies and statistics versus simple chemistry and biology.
I agree with pretty much everything you said. =)
LOL, that AJ dude got STFU… Omg, Allison I think I love you <3.
Anyways, this game looks awesome. Too bad I don’t own a PS3 though =(.
Gifts are always appreciated.
eat + alot = get fat
don’t eat + alot = skinny
you know i thought about an idea for a reality show, where one obese person would be flown to africa, or some 3rd world coumtry where theres only 1 meal per day (if you is lucky), and get like an entire family from the 3rd world to the obese persons diet, maybe just for a month.. see how that works? i’d tune in.. i don’t hate fat people, or skinny people… they are just people in the end.. i am around 10 kilos underweight, and for a 26 year old black male, living in bavaria, germany, it is enough to get you looks from all sorts. so i think its not about size, rather than how you live with the way that you are.
You know what? Not only am I female, I’m fat, not morbidly so, but most definitely overweight (I am trying to change that though, as to where I’m assuming these people aren’t)…..and I think that this is quite possibly the most humorous and creative thing that I’ve stumbled upon in quite some time! I’m actually excited about it! Anybody who is offended is acting like a biggot and needs to get over themselves. So what if there’s a fat chick in it? Shouldn’t they be happy about this? It’s not like she’s being portrayed as a horrible character. She’s a princess! Perhaps they should just learn to laugh a little and just well, get over it.
Shouldn’t they be happy that the fat chick is a princess this time around than the ugly evil hag support character that she usually gets? (I.E. The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas (male), Batman, etc.)
Anyway, this is not an argument about fat people and why they exist. Fat Princess is clearly about the relation between eating lots of cake, and gaining weight. Related to the game, she doesn’t walk anywhere and the only transportation she gets is when people carry her around. If you sat around, eating only cake and nothing else, I’m sure there isn’t any genes to blame, but rather the massive amounts of cake you’re eating.
Repeat after me: All men are misogynistic pigs…..
WTF? I am a man and I really take offense to that…..oh wait, no I don’t ’cause by a majority vote it would be validated. Kinda the same thing with fat people and their glands vs their eating habits. I’ve never seen a 300 lb. baby so im guessing that the glands behavior is triggered sometime during toddler/pre-kindergarten ages but im a carpenter not a biologist.
Both me and my wife are 15-25 lbs. overweight because we don’t exercise enough, we eat fatty (tasty) foods and probably order out too much. I can sit here and say it’s because our jobs are stressful or that our 3 kids take up too much of our time etc. but the fact of the matter is that its no bodies fault but ours.I guess if we were still in a time where we had to chase our food or starve we wouldn’t be having this discussion.
Fat Princess is an excellent game with a really fun story. Its graphics are cool and there’s a lot you can do besides the main story line. Online can be a little glitchy at times.
There’s nothing wrong with a girl who has a little extra meat on her bones unless of course she’s a feminist b*tch. We are all created equal but we are all individuals the same. Some things women can do better than men and vise/versa. But as my single parent mother used to say “Whinning will get you nowhere, Billy… now turn that frown upside down and stand tall”
i LOVE this game…and i had a good laugh reading this! the only thing that makes me kinda sad about the game is that there aren’t more “ways to get fabulous” for girl characters. that’s my only qualm with the game…otherwise it rocks my socks!