Note: Sure, I may be overreacting. But these are still painful to watch.
As you all know by now, I hate music game trailers with a passion. It’s not that people can’t have fun and be happy playing these games, but these commercials… it’s just so… bad.
The new trailer for Lips has not only reached the same unbearable levels that THIS remarkably shitty video has, but somehow surpassed those very same levels. In fact, it may very well be the worst thing to ever happen to the video game industry. Worse than the closure of Blizzard North. Worse than Hot Coffee. Worse even than Daikatana:
Let’s count all the things wrong with this, shall we?
1.) White guy — in a CARDIGAN SWEATER, no less, trying to perform old school hip hop.
2.) ATTN aforementioned white guy: You can’t dance. Sit your lame, suburbian ass down.
3.) Duffy. ’nuff said.
4.) Take a good look at the chick in the polka dot shirt through that whole Duffy segment — she’s givin’ the girl with the ‘fro the “fuck me” eyes… that’s actually pretty awesome. Moving on.
5.) Fake British accents FTMFL.
6.) The chick who couldn’t sing Nirvana, but belted whatever song was on the mp3 player? Yeah — we can all tell that the Nirvana voice was her true singing voice.
7.) Why are the lights changing color so damn much?! …did you guys buy that Rock Band smoke machine?
8.) …you all realize “Umbrella” is a metaphor for something that not even I, your humble JW, will say on this site, right?
9.) Not that it matters, but Rhianna? Sounds like she’s yodeling.
10.) What is that lame ass SoCal wannabe doing back there? Because it sure ain’t dancing!
11.) Notice that the amigo in the Cardigan Sweater keeps his ass on the couch when everyone else gets up and dances along? Yeah, bitch learned his lesson.
Now if you will excuse me, I need to watch the Real Men of GeniusGuitar Hero: On Tour trailer to cleanse my eyes of this filth.
A full-time writer and editor, James Walker has been covering the video game industry since 2005. In addition to writing, Walker is an avant fan of Detroit and Michigan sports teams, Camel cigarettes and games by Peter Molyneux.
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